Happy news: Yesterday marked FOUR MONTHS until the wedding!
Unhappy news: We still don't have our tuxedos picked out. Um...oops?
Since I had today off from work, Billy and I decided this would be a good day to go pick out tuxedos. We were planning on going with Men's Warehouse tuxedo rental because they have outlets in or near where all of our groomsmen live. Everyone could pick up their own tux on their own schedule and not have to worry about driving a billion miles.
But first we had to decide what they'd be wearing. And what Billy would be wearing. So we went to the local Men's Warehouse and...they don't have any tuxedos to try on? We were hoping to compare the cut-away tails and the full-dress tails for Billy to see which actually looked good, and then at least be able to see the other options for the guys in person.
They don't do that. Apparently, none of the stores do that.
Was I the only one un-aware of this policy? Does it seem weird to anyone else? Maybe because I'm a weird-sized woman who HAS to try on every last piece of clothing (even when it's tailor-made) and get a lot of it altered I'm not comfortable with picking out something sight un-seen.
Are there any other national tux-rental chains? I'm about ready to get desperate here!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
3 Down, 47 to go!
Just in case you haven't heard, Connecticut Supreme Court rules same-sex marriage is legal.
As part of your celebrating, why not donate to the No on 8 campaign, to help ensure that marriage equality continues in California.
As part of your celebrating, why not donate to the No on 8 campaign, to help ensure that marriage equality continues in California.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Hitting a wall
I've been excited all week to get started on making my pocketfold invitations.
Today we woke up bright and early to head out to Michael's to buy the paper I needed. I figured I needed 30 sheets of artists paper.
They had 1 in the color I needed. 1 measly sheet.
No big problem, right? Just go find a sales associate and ask if they have more in the back/can order some from another store from me. Something that I know is within a store's ability to do thanks to having a mother who works for the company.
So after wandering around for awhile, I finally find someone to talk to. Wow, was she ever snotty. They can either order the paper for me as a special order, which would take 6-8 weeks to arrive. Or they can call the other stores for me and send me off to those places to pick up the paper.
Um, no. I can't go galavanting around New York looking for paper. I specifically chose this particular store because it's the most accessible via public transportation.
Even Billy, who's usually really laid back about poor service, told me as we left "Wow, she was mean."
So now we're back home and I feel like alternately banging my head against a wall and curling up in a ball and crying, even though this isn't a big thing at all. I still have plenty of time to find an online source of paper.
I just really wanted to work this week. As in I was hoping I'd be happily chopping up paper by now, not writing a whiny blog post.
Any words of encouragement?
Today we woke up bright and early to head out to Michael's to buy the paper I needed. I figured I needed 30 sheets of artists paper.
They had 1 in the color I needed. 1 measly sheet.
No big problem, right? Just go find a sales associate and ask if they have more in the back/can order some from another store from me. Something that I know is within a store's ability to do thanks to having a mother who works for the company.
So after wandering around for awhile, I finally find someone to talk to. Wow, was she ever snotty. They can either order the paper for me as a special order, which would take 6-8 weeks to arrive. Or they can call the other stores for me and send me off to those places to pick up the paper.
Um, no. I can't go galavanting around New York looking for paper. I specifically chose this particular store because it's the most accessible via public transportation.
Even Billy, who's usually really laid back about poor service, told me as we left "Wow, she was mean."
So now we're back home and I feel like alternately banging my head against a wall and curling up in a ball and crying, even though this isn't a big thing at all. I still have plenty of time to find an online source of paper.
I just really wanted to work this week. As in I was hoping I'd be happily chopping up paper by now, not writing a whiny blog post.
Any words of encouragement?
Friday, October 3, 2008
What I've been up to
And now for something completely different from the last super-serious post!
It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted and there's two reasons for that 1) nothing major regarding the wedding has happened 2) I'm lazy.
Nothing major has been happening because I've been ridiculously unemployed all summer, which meant that money that I had been saving for wedding expenses had to instead be put toward living expenses like food, gas and metro passes (now that I'm in New York!). However, this week I got a job, so I can start spending money again! It's not a fabulous job, it doesn't use my degree at all, it's part time retail work, something I once vowed I would never get into again. But circumstances change, and I'm not too proud to admit when I need to do something, anything, in order to make money.
So the only wedding planning things I've done have been things that don't require any money. Like doing a first draft of part of our invitations! They're going out in about a month and a half, so I really have to get on the ball with these.
Here's the first one I've made. Any thoughts?
Like our whole wedding, I'm trying to create a blend of classic, traditional wedding elements and our own unique quirkiness. So I've attempted to blend a very traditional, formal wedding aesthetic with a different color choice (and non-barf-worthy language. The language etiquette around weddings is one of the most aggravating areas for a progressive bride to navigate, in my opinion), and then add an extra dash of quirkiness with the paraphrased movie quote at the top. The current plan is to have a movie quote associated with each of our inserts. Here's what we've thought of so far:
Directions card: Where we're going, we don't need roads (Back to the Future, one of Billy's favorite movies)
RSVP and/or rehearsal dinner/party card: Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho! (Pirates of the Caribbean, as if an explanation is needed!)
Other RSVP option: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too! (The Wizard of Oz)
Billy also suggested making our RSVP options movie quotations, but we've only come up with a quotation for those declining the invitation: "I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. It means 'no'" (Also from Pirates, and we're debating whether we should keep the somewhat-snarky sounding "It means 'no'"). Anyone know of a good movie quotation that means "yes"?
I think this weekend is going to be dedicated to working on invitations, whether that's more design work on the invitations themselves, or finally getting myself out to Michael's to buy the card stock so I can start making pocketfolds!
It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted and there's two reasons for that 1) nothing major regarding the wedding has happened 2) I'm lazy.
Nothing major has been happening because I've been ridiculously unemployed all summer, which meant that money that I had been saving for wedding expenses had to instead be put toward living expenses like food, gas and metro passes (now that I'm in New York!). However, this week I got a job, so I can start spending money again! It's not a fabulous job, it doesn't use my degree at all, it's part time retail work, something I once vowed I would never get into again. But circumstances change, and I'm not too proud to admit when I need to do something, anything, in order to make money.
So the only wedding planning things I've done have been things that don't require any money. Like doing a first draft of part of our invitations! They're going out in about a month and a half, so I really have to get on the ball with these.
Here's the first one I've made. Any thoughts?
Like our whole wedding, I'm trying to create a blend of classic, traditional wedding elements and our own unique quirkiness. So I've attempted to blend a very traditional, formal wedding aesthetic with a different color choice (and non-barf-worthy language. The language etiquette around weddings is one of the most aggravating areas for a progressive bride to navigate, in my opinion), and then add an extra dash of quirkiness with the paraphrased movie quote at the top. The current plan is to have a movie quote associated with each of our inserts. Here's what we've thought of so far:
Directions card: Where we're going, we don't need roads (Back to the Future, one of Billy's favorite movies)
RSVP and/or rehearsal dinner/party card: Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho! (Pirates of the Caribbean, as if an explanation is needed!)
Other RSVP option: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too! (The Wizard of Oz)
Billy also suggested making our RSVP options movie quotations, but we've only come up with a quotation for those declining the invitation: "I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. It means 'no'" (Also from Pirates, and we're debating whether we should keep the somewhat-snarky sounding "It means 'no'"). Anyone know of a good movie quotation that means "yes"?
I think this weekend is going to be dedicated to working on invitations, whether that's more design work on the invitations themselves, or finally getting myself out to Michael's to buy the card stock so I can start making pocketfolds!
The Personal is Political
So as many in the wedding blog community (and beyond!) have heard, popular wedding blog Weddingbee has been sold to eHarmony. And now there's a lot of arguing going on about whether this was a good decision, and what this means for the website and its community.
I posted my two cents on Weddingbee when I first saw the news (for me, it was a no brainer that I wouldn't continue to read a site supported by eHarmony), and wanted to leave it at that, at least over there. I've kept the page open in a tab, however, so I can follow along with the debate and so I can find the blogs of anyone else who's leaving.
But it's getting pretty ugly over there. I posted on Feministing (the above link) when they mentioned the Weddingbee sale that I was happy the level of discourse was being kept at a mature level. People were being passionate about their beliefs, but when you're discussing deeply held moral convictions, you should be passionate. Now, however, it's devolving into a disgusting display of some of the worst behaviors possible in humanity. No, I'm being serious: using religion to preach hate is one of the most morally repugnant things a person can do.
But that's not why I wanted to make this post. I wanted to make this post to explain why the sale of a wedding community to a non-LGBTQ friendly company matters to me in the slightest.
As a life long feminist, I've long been familiar with the phrase "the personal is political," popularized by second wave (60s-70s) feminists. What it means is that what affects our personal lives is part of the political sphere as well. At the time this was often used to try to garner legal support for women's reproductive health rights, or the right for women to retain their own individual identity even after getting married. And while some of the fights of our mothers' generation have been won, there are still a lot of battlefronts that remain. Including the rights of LGBTQ-identifying people.
I think I've mentioned this before, but in case I haven't: I'm bisexual. Yes, I'm marrying a man, but to me that's just a quirk of genetics. I fell in love with Billy because of who he is as a person, not as a male. I am acutely aware that if I had fallen in love with a woman I wouldn't be planning a wedding like mine right now.
We currently live in a country that is governed more by hate and fear than reason and compassion. A country where our government seems to believe that just because some interpretations of some religions refuse to acknowledge the love between people of the same sex, that is reason enough to bar a supposedly-secular government from also recognizing these unions. At a governmental level, there isn't much I can do about that right now. I diligently vote for the person that I believe will do the least amount of harm (because there is no current candidate who is as radical as I am about social justice issues), and vote down hateful proposals, but while these are some of the most public actions, in some ways they are the least powerful. Government is a huge machine, and as such it takes a long time for huge changes to be made.
So I focus a lot of my political activism on a personal level. I blog in my personal blog about political issues to raise awareness among my readers. I support companies that have progressive policies, and refuse to support companies that don't. In planning my wedding, I am doing a lot of it myself so I don't contribute financially to the wedding industrial complex that encourages women to hate their bodies, continue misogynist traditions, and go into debt, all in search for a "perfect day." Billy and I are also acknowledging our passion for marriage equality by opening our ceremony with a reading from the Massachusetts's historic supreme court decision legalizing gay marriage, read by a former professor, mentor and friend of ours who happens to be a gay man.
If anyone tries to say that weddings are not political acts, they are kidding themselves, because getting married is one of the most personal decisions a couple can make, and the personal is political.
To sign off, here's the reading from the Massachusetts's supreme court ruling we're using. It perfectly sums up our feelings on marriage, and seems very appropriate today:
Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other ... brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their [family], marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return, it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations....Without question, civil marriage enhances the "welfare of the community" and is a "social institution of the highest importance." ... Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and [a] connection [to] our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition
I posted my two cents on Weddingbee when I first saw the news (for me, it was a no brainer that I wouldn't continue to read a site supported by eHarmony), and wanted to leave it at that, at least over there. I've kept the page open in a tab, however, so I can follow along with the debate and so I can find the blogs of anyone else who's leaving.
But it's getting pretty ugly over there. I posted on Feministing (the above link) when they mentioned the Weddingbee sale that I was happy the level of discourse was being kept at a mature level. People were being passionate about their beliefs, but when you're discussing deeply held moral convictions, you should be passionate. Now, however, it's devolving into a disgusting display of some of the worst behaviors possible in humanity. No, I'm being serious: using religion to preach hate is one of the most morally repugnant things a person can do.
But that's not why I wanted to make this post. I wanted to make this post to explain why the sale of a wedding community to a non-LGBTQ friendly company matters to me in the slightest.
As a life long feminist, I've long been familiar with the phrase "the personal is political," popularized by second wave (60s-70s) feminists. What it means is that what affects our personal lives is part of the political sphere as well. At the time this was often used to try to garner legal support for women's reproductive health rights, or the right for women to retain their own individual identity even after getting married. And while some of the fights of our mothers' generation have been won, there are still a lot of battlefronts that remain. Including the rights of LGBTQ-identifying people.
I think I've mentioned this before, but in case I haven't: I'm bisexual. Yes, I'm marrying a man, but to me that's just a quirk of genetics. I fell in love with Billy because of who he is as a person, not as a male. I am acutely aware that if I had fallen in love with a woman I wouldn't be planning a wedding like mine right now.
We currently live in a country that is governed more by hate and fear than reason and compassion. A country where our government seems to believe that just because some interpretations of some religions refuse to acknowledge the love between people of the same sex, that is reason enough to bar a supposedly-secular government from also recognizing these unions. At a governmental level, there isn't much I can do about that right now. I diligently vote for the person that I believe will do the least amount of harm (because there is no current candidate who is as radical as I am about social justice issues), and vote down hateful proposals, but while these are some of the most public actions, in some ways they are the least powerful. Government is a huge machine, and as such it takes a long time for huge changes to be made.
So I focus a lot of my political activism on a personal level. I blog in my personal blog about political issues to raise awareness among my readers. I support companies that have progressive policies, and refuse to support companies that don't. In planning my wedding, I am doing a lot of it myself so I don't contribute financially to the wedding industrial complex that encourages women to hate their bodies, continue misogynist traditions, and go into debt, all in search for a "perfect day." Billy and I are also acknowledging our passion for marriage equality by opening our ceremony with a reading from the Massachusetts's historic supreme court decision legalizing gay marriage, read by a former professor, mentor and friend of ours who happens to be a gay man.
If anyone tries to say that weddings are not political acts, they are kidding themselves, because getting married is one of the most personal decisions a couple can make, and the personal is political.
To sign off, here's the reading from the Massachusetts's supreme court ruling we're using. It perfectly sums up our feelings on marriage, and seems very appropriate today:
Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other ... brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their [family], marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return, it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations....Without question, civil marriage enhances the "welfare of the community" and is a "social institution of the highest importance." ... Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and [a] connection [to] our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition
Hi Weddingbee Readers!
There's probably been a new surge of readers today as people are still reeling from the shock of Weddingbee being sold to eHarmony. I had a late night up with the debate last night so I'm still catching up on my morning blogroll, but I promise there will be a post or two later today explaining why there hasn't been a post on here for almost a month, my thoughts on the Weddingbee sale, and where I'm at in wedding planning (spoiler alert: not much farther than I was on September 12...having no money kind of puts a damper on things!)
Friday, September 12, 2008
Editing those pesky tourists out of honeymoon photos!
While thoughts of my honeymoon are still pretty far off, this came across my blogroll today and I figured it might help somebody!
Remove tourists from travel photos (Wired how-to wiki)
It gives step by step instructions on how to "manually" remove extra people from your photos, and also examples of software programs that will do it automatically.
I'm a little skeptical of it right now - the only example picture is of one person being removed from an image. I highly doubt it would work on a packed scene like the illustration at the top of the page (can you imagine how long you'd have to be snapping pictures to make sure you got a clear shot of everything?!), but it could help tweak your photos a bit.
Remove tourists from travel photos (Wired how-to wiki)
It gives step by step instructions on how to "manually" remove extra people from your photos, and also examples of software programs that will do it automatically.
I'm a little skeptical of it right now - the only example picture is of one person being removed from an image. I highly doubt it would work on a packed scene like the illustration at the top of the page (can you imagine how long you'd have to be snapping pictures to make sure you got a clear shot of everything?!), but it could help tweak your photos a bit.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Purple wedding details
While I was at home, just before Mom and I left on our road trip out to New York, I was able to grab a few pictures of wedding details I won't be seeing again for several months.
First...the shoes!
They are ridiculously shiny. And a real bargain - I got them off of eBay for something like $16. They were a pair of shoes that I knew I had to have, and at that price, even if I change my mind it's not like I'll be out a fortune in shoes. (Should I decide these aren't right for the wedding, I will totally wear them anyway. Look at how cute they are on my feet!)
Hello little toes!
And...my bouquet!!!
Since all of our flowers are silk flowers, Mom decided to get to work on my bouquet super early. Like, I think this was the first wedding project she tackled back in February. This particular version was made in...June, I think. Mom came to visit me and I showed her a picture of a bouquet in Bride and Bloom that I just loved (unfortunately their website has been updating since March or something, and the original picture from the magazine is back at my mom's house, so I can't show it to you here). Mom went home and re-created it pretty faithfully, with some of our own design improvements:
Since no one else was home when I went on my photography binge, this was the best picture I could get, holding the bouquet up in front of the bathroom mirror!
I love this because it's not your traditional cascade bouquet - for this entire wedding I am all about taking traditional elements and giving them a twist to make them unique to us. Most cascade bouquets I've seen look very structured, whereas this one, since the blossoms are spread out on wire (both plain fishing-type wire and the decorative wire garland we also got off of eBay), has a very organic appearance. There's enough weight to the flowers to keep everything from flying away like crazy, but enough give in the wire to make it very flow-y.
We're going to be taking out the white flowers, though, and moving all of the greenery to the edge of the bouquet (fun fact: you can't tell in this horrible picture, but all of the leaves are actually made out of seed beads! And there's some dashes of lighter purple in there that are made of beads as well. If I'm remembering correctly, the green on the back of the hanging blooms is beaded, too. My mom is a beading genius). When Mom first started working on these I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted my bouquet to look like, but since then I've figured out I really like the monochromatic bouquets, so out with the white and green, in with more purple!
Out of the items we have for the wedding so far, I really think my bouquet is my favorite. When Mom pulled it out of her wedding-stuff drawer for me to see I started jumping up and down and ran around the house holding the bouquet like a mad woman. Lots of women talk about their dress shopping experience as the first time they felt like a bride, what with the long white dress and the pretty veil. For me, it was holding my bouquet!
When was the first time you felt like a bride?
First...the shoes!
They are ridiculously shiny. And a real bargain - I got them off of eBay for something like $16. They were a pair of shoes that I knew I had to have, and at that price, even if I change my mind it's not like I'll be out a fortune in shoes. (Should I decide these aren't right for the wedding, I will totally wear them anyway. Look at how cute they are on my feet!)
Hello little toes!
And...my bouquet!!!
Since all of our flowers are silk flowers, Mom decided to get to work on my bouquet super early. Like, I think this was the first wedding project she tackled back in February. This particular version was made in...June, I think. Mom came to visit me and I showed her a picture of a bouquet in Bride and Bloom that I just loved (unfortunately their website has been updating since March or something, and the original picture from the magazine is back at my mom's house, so I can't show it to you here). Mom went home and re-created it pretty faithfully, with some of our own design improvements:
Since no one else was home when I went on my photography binge, this was the best picture I could get, holding the bouquet up in front of the bathroom mirror!
I love this because it's not your traditional cascade bouquet - for this entire wedding I am all about taking traditional elements and giving them a twist to make them unique to us. Most cascade bouquets I've seen look very structured, whereas this one, since the blossoms are spread out on wire (both plain fishing-type wire and the decorative wire garland we also got off of eBay), has a very organic appearance. There's enough weight to the flowers to keep everything from flying away like crazy, but enough give in the wire to make it very flow-y.
We're going to be taking out the white flowers, though, and moving all of the greenery to the edge of the bouquet (fun fact: you can't tell in this horrible picture, but all of the leaves are actually made out of seed beads! And there's some dashes of lighter purple in there that are made of beads as well. If I'm remembering correctly, the green on the back of the hanging blooms is beaded, too. My mom is a beading genius). When Mom first started working on these I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted my bouquet to look like, but since then I've figured out I really like the monochromatic bouquets, so out with the white and green, in with more purple!
Out of the items we have for the wedding so far, I really think my bouquet is my favorite. When Mom pulled it out of her wedding-stuff drawer for me to see I started jumping up and down and ran around the house holding the bouquet like a mad woman. Lots of women talk about their dress shopping experience as the first time they felt like a bride, what with the long white dress and the pretty veil. For me, it was holding my bouquet!
When was the first time you felt like a bride?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Blogging from the Big Apple!
After an extended break from wedding planning...I'm back! And all moved into my new New York City apartment!
Well, my Queens apartment. It still counts, right?
The place is a bit of a sty right now, so no nice pictures of how we're settling in yet. Instead, have a couple of shots from move in day:
The view from the kitchen
Just inside our living space
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay! Everything's in the apartment!!! Oh, crap, now we have to unpack it all!
A week and a couple of days later and I'd say 90% of our stuff is unpacked. We're still living out of suitcases, but that's because Billy refuses to hang up any of his clothes. Apparently he needs a dresser to survive (he used that argument on me in our last apartment so we ended up with two dressers...and yet, his clothes only ended up IN the dresser when I did his laundry!). So we're trying to figure out how to work that.
We're also waiting on a book shelf to unpack our DVDs and books. I'm hoping that one bookshelf will be enough to hold it all!
So far I think we're adjusting well to New York. There's a bit of a learning curve, but we're managing.
And now that we're (mostly) settled in, I have two tasks: 1) FIND A JOB (I've been applying like crazy for anything and everything I can find. I'm desperate) 2) Get back into wedding planning! Yesterday I spoke with my future sister-in-law Carling and my Ypsi-based usher (and unexpected bachelorette party organizer!) Marisa so they can coordinate working on my bridal shower (Carling and my future mother-in-law are doing most of the planning, with MOH Brittany helping out in some way, but Marisa, being the one actually based in Ypsilanti right now, is going to help figure out logistics like WHERE to have the bridal shower). The night before that I chatted with Brittany via AIM and she let me ramble aimlessly while I figured out what my next wedding planning steps were.
1) Figure out whether I should make my own pocketfolds for the invitations or buy them
2) Start figuring out what the invitations should say
3) Make Billy figure out what he and the groomsmen are wearing
I've also spent most of today finalizing the wedding registry so it will be all ready to be viewed by the bridal shower crowd!
More posts soon!
Well, my Queens apartment. It still counts, right?
The place is a bit of a sty right now, so no nice pictures of how we're settling in yet. Instead, have a couple of shots from move in day:
The view from the kitchen
Just inside our living space
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay! Everything's in the apartment!!! Oh, crap, now we have to unpack it all!
A week and a couple of days later and I'd say 90% of our stuff is unpacked. We're still living out of suitcases, but that's because Billy refuses to hang up any of his clothes. Apparently he needs a dresser to survive (he used that argument on me in our last apartment so we ended up with two dressers...and yet, his clothes only ended up IN the dresser when I did his laundry!). So we're trying to figure out how to work that.
We're also waiting on a book shelf to unpack our DVDs and books. I'm hoping that one bookshelf will be enough to hold it all!
So far I think we're adjusting well to New York. There's a bit of a learning curve, but we're managing.
And now that we're (mostly) settled in, I have two tasks: 1) FIND A JOB (I've been applying like crazy for anything and everything I can find. I'm desperate) 2) Get back into wedding planning! Yesterday I spoke with my future sister-in-law Carling and my Ypsi-based usher (and unexpected bachelorette party organizer!) Marisa so they can coordinate working on my bridal shower (Carling and my future mother-in-law are doing most of the planning, with MOH Brittany helping out in some way, but Marisa, being the one actually based in Ypsilanti right now, is going to help figure out logistics like WHERE to have the bridal shower). The night before that I chatted with Brittany via AIM and she let me ramble aimlessly while I figured out what my next wedding planning steps were.
1) Figure out whether I should make my own pocketfolds for the invitations or buy them
2) Start figuring out what the invitations should say
3) Make Billy figure out what he and the groomsmen are wearing
I've also spent most of today finalizing the wedding registry so it will be all ready to be viewed by the bridal shower crowd!
More posts soon!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Unexpected kindness
I'm taking a quick breather from madcap packing (as soon as I'm finished with this post the computer needs to be turned off and packed up!) to do a quick write up about a small but meaningful act of wedding-related kindness.
So last night Billy and I went out to one of the local bars for our going away party. It took a little while for people to start showing up, but once they did we had a great evening with some of our best friends from school. It really made me realize how much I'm going to miss all of them!
Then completely out of the blue, our friend Marisa (who I've been meaning to ask to be one of our ushers, but our schedules have been so busy I haven't been able to see her to ask!) mentions that she wanted to know when I was going to come back to Michigan so she could throw a bachelorette party for me so I could have one with my school friends! I almost started to cry, it was so sweet. She had no way of knowing I was going to ask her to be in the wedding, and yet she wanted to go out of her way to make sure I had a great party with my school friends. Of course, I asked her right there at the bar to be one of our ushers.
It was a sweet night all around :-)
Where have you found unexpected kindness in wedding planning?
So last night Billy and I went out to one of the local bars for our going away party. It took a little while for people to start showing up, but once they did we had a great evening with some of our best friends from school. It really made me realize how much I'm going to miss all of them!
Then completely out of the blue, our friend Marisa (who I've been meaning to ask to be one of our ushers, but our schedules have been so busy I haven't been able to see her to ask!) mentions that she wanted to know when I was going to come back to Michigan so she could throw a bachelorette party for me so I could have one with my school friends! I almost started to cry, it was so sweet. She had no way of knowing I was going to ask her to be in the wedding, and yet she wanted to go out of her way to make sure I had a great party with my school friends. Of course, I asked her right there at the bar to be one of our ushers.
It was a sweet night all around :-)
Where have you found unexpected kindness in wedding planning?
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Quiet Weekend
Billy and I are sorting through our apartment and packing things up this weekend. We've been college students for years and have always moved either from one rinky dinky dorm to another, or from our individual rinky dinky dorms into a full size apartment, so we never had to worry too much about sorting/packing before. Both of us always just shoved our crap into boxes, dumped it all into the new place, and sorted everything out once we were settled in.
Now we're going from a full size, one bedroom apartment into a tiny studio only marginally larger than some of the dorm rooms I've had. That means downsizing A LOT. We have to figure out what's coming with us, what's going in the trash, what's going to the Salvation Army, and what's going to be stored at our parents' houses until we're in a place with enough space for all of our stuff.
I imagine it's a little bit like what newlyweds go through when they're combining two households for the first time, except with fewer fights over hideous arm chairs (full disclosure: I'm the one who brought the ratty recliner into this relationship, but even I agree it has to go. It's older than I am and we're not renting a moving van so we have no way of transporting the thing from here to New York!).
Anyway, what all this means is posting is going to be light for the next week or so. I move back to my parents' house for a week starting Tuesday, which means computer access is going to be limited (I have no place to set up my desktop at my parents' house, and when I'm there I have to share the family computer with three other computer junkies). I'm going to be meeting with our officiant while I'm there, so I'll try to squeeze in a post about that, but otherwise it'll probably be radio silence until I'm in New York!
Now we're going from a full size, one bedroom apartment into a tiny studio only marginally larger than some of the dorm rooms I've had. That means downsizing A LOT. We have to figure out what's coming with us, what's going in the trash, what's going to the Salvation Army, and what's going to be stored at our parents' houses until we're in a place with enough space for all of our stuff.
I imagine it's a little bit like what newlyweds go through when they're combining two households for the first time, except with fewer fights over hideous arm chairs (full disclosure: I'm the one who brought the ratty recliner into this relationship, but even I agree it has to go. It's older than I am and we're not renting a moving van so we have no way of transporting the thing from here to New York!).
Anyway, what all this means is posting is going to be light for the next week or so. I move back to my parents' house for a week starting Tuesday, which means computer access is going to be limited (I have no place to set up my desktop at my parents' house, and when I'm there I have to share the family computer with three other computer junkies). I'm going to be meeting with our officiant while I'm there, so I'll try to squeeze in a post about that, but otherwise it'll probably be radio silence until I'm in New York!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Variations on a theme
Fairly early on, Billy and I settled on incorporating movies into our wedding as the theme. It's perfect for us: we absolutely love movies and we can incorporate our theme and have fun while also easily maintaining a stylish and rather formal flair.
So I quickly began figuring out how we could incorporate movies into our wedding. Of course, naming our tables after our favorite movies was obvious. And back in February I discovered the Internet Movie Poster Awards, which is going to be perfect for printing out postcard size versions of our favorite movie posters.
We still haven't figured out what our other songs will be (I want "One Day" from Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End to be the bride's processional; Billy wants The Final Countdown to be our recessional. Neither of us is 100% behind the other's choice, so we're at a bit of a stalemate at the moment!).
So since that discovery, finding clever, understated and tasteful ways to incorporate our theme has been my obsession. By choosing a relatively common event theme (we certainly aren't the first wedding to choose this theme, and I think everyone attended a high school dance themed around the Academy Awards!), I find myself walking a fine line between doing something cliche or elegant. But here's some of the ideas so far:
An Oscar ballot guest book: instead of everyone signing a traditional guest book (or even some of the awesome guest book alternatives out there), we'll make up short Oscar Ballots covering the big categories, and then throw in either some fake categories (I have no idea what they would be at this point!) or leave lots of extra lines for well-wishers to leave their own input. Of course, this is something that I can't really do too far in advance: the nominees are only going to be announced one month before our wedding! I'm also thinking that maybe after the honeymoon, when we're looking through the "ballots," we'll post whoever got the most categories correct and send them a small prize.
Oscar trivia kissing game: Mentioned first by our officiant, and the idea further solidified by this kissing menu: we come up with a bunch of movie/Oscar trivia questions. If someone wants us to kiss, they have to correctly answer the trivia question
Rejected idea: movie clapboard card box
(Source)
For me, this delves too much into cheese-y territory. It's just a little bit too much. Instead, I think I'm going to stick with her original idea: a wooden treasure chest that served as my Christmas "stocking" a few years ago (when she only bought my Pirate-related things for my stocking. Mom loves a good theme as much as I do!)
How are you incorporating your theme into your wedding? Anyone else worried about coming off as cheesey?
So I quickly began figuring out how we could incorporate movies into our wedding. Of course, naming our tables after our favorite movies was obvious. And back in February I discovered the Internet Movie Poster Awards, which is going to be perfect for printing out postcard size versions of our favorite movie posters.
This poster is currently hanging in our living room, and will definitely be making an appearance as a table name!
Next idea was to have all of our "pre-show" music (I've been a theatre geek for a lifetime; I can only think of these things in theatre terms) be from movies. Maybe just the orchestral scores from various movies? (Easy way to incorporate some Star Wars - Billy's favorite movie(s) - into the wedding. Even though I'm not a big fan of the films myself, the music is fabulous)
Another fun idea: movie-inspired cake toppers! Right now I think we're each going to have an action figure representing our favorite movies: Billy wants Hans Solo, I'm using Elizabeth Swann (I told you I was obsessed!)
And then, as we began figuring out what music we wanted for various parts of the wedding, I discovered our movie theme was insinuating itself in that aspect, too, without me even trying!
Processional: Don't Stop Believin' by Journey, performed by Low Strung (inspired by hearing a few bars of this in The Wedding Singer)
First Dance: Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole as seen in Finding Forrester
Father/Daughter Dance: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Jefferson Starship as seen in Mannequin
Next idea was to have all of our "pre-show" music (I've been a theatre geek for a lifetime; I can only think of these things in theatre terms) be from movies. Maybe just the orchestral scores from various movies? (Easy way to incorporate some Star Wars - Billy's favorite movie(s) - into the wedding. Even though I'm not a big fan of the films myself, the music is fabulous)
Another fun idea: movie-inspired cake toppers! Right now I think we're each going to have an action figure representing our favorite movies: Billy wants Hans Solo, I'm using Elizabeth Swann (I told you I was obsessed!)
And then, as we began figuring out what music we wanted for various parts of the wedding, I discovered our movie theme was insinuating itself in that aspect, too, without me even trying!
Processional: Don't Stop Believin' by Journey, performed by Low Strung (inspired by hearing a few bars of this in The Wedding Singer)
First Dance: Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole as seen in Finding Forrester
Father/Daughter Dance: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Jefferson Starship as seen in Mannequin
We still haven't figured out what our other songs will be (I want "One Day" from Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End to be the bride's processional; Billy wants The Final Countdown to be our recessional. Neither of us is 100% behind the other's choice, so we're at a bit of a stalemate at the moment!).
So since that discovery, finding clever, understated and tasteful ways to incorporate our theme has been my obsession. By choosing a relatively common event theme (we certainly aren't the first wedding to choose this theme, and I think everyone attended a high school dance themed around the Academy Awards!), I find myself walking a fine line between doing something cliche or elegant. But here's some of the ideas so far:
An Oscar ballot guest book: instead of everyone signing a traditional guest book (or even some of the awesome guest book alternatives out there), we'll make up short Oscar Ballots covering the big categories, and then throw in either some fake categories (I have no idea what they would be at this point!) or leave lots of extra lines for well-wishers to leave their own input. Of course, this is something that I can't really do too far in advance: the nominees are only going to be announced one month before our wedding! I'm also thinking that maybe after the honeymoon, when we're looking through the "ballots," we'll post whoever got the most categories correct and send them a small prize.
Oscar trivia kissing game: Mentioned first by our officiant, and the idea further solidified by this kissing menu: we come up with a bunch of movie/Oscar trivia questions. If someone wants us to kiss, they have to correctly answer the trivia question
Rejected idea: movie clapboard card box
(Source)
For me, this delves too much into cheese-y territory. It's just a little bit too much. Instead, I think I'm going to stick with her original idea: a wooden treasure chest that served as my Christmas "stocking" a few years ago (when she only bought my Pirate-related things for my stocking. Mom loves a good theme as much as I do!)
How are you incorporating your theme into your wedding? Anyone else worried about coming off as cheesey?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Bachelorette Weekend!
I am an incredibly lucky bride, because my bachelorette party wasn't just one night. Nope, I got three whole days in which to hang out with some of the most important women in my life. Three days of shopping, playing and eating. Totally awesome :-)
(BM Nicole, myself, MOH Brittany and BM Rachel, in front of Lush!)
(Ana Gasteyer as Elphaba)
(BM Nicole, myself, MOH Brittany and BM Rachel, in front of Lush!)
At the end of April, three of my four bridesmaids and I met up in Chicago for a fantastic couple of days. Unfortunately, my other bridesmaid, Carling, couldn't join us :-( :-( :-(
Chicago was chosen for two reasons. First, a few years ago when Nicole got engaged, Brittany, myself and another friend took her to Chicago for a few days since the poor girl had never been there! Our hometown is a mere three hours away from Chicago by train, and with train tickets costing something like $8 at the time, there was no reason not to go! We hung out, went to various museums, and topped it off with seeing the original Chicago cast in Wicked, which had opened only a few weeks before we showed up.
Chicago was chosen for two reasons. First, a few years ago when Nicole got engaged, Brittany, myself and another friend took her to Chicago for a few days since the poor girl had never been there! Our hometown is a mere three hours away from Chicago by train, and with train tickets costing something like $8 at the time, there was no reason not to go! We hung out, went to various museums, and topped it off with seeing the original Chicago cast in Wicked, which had opened only a few weeks before we showed up.
(Ana Gasteyer as Elphaba)
So when my turn to have a bachelorette party rolled around, Chicago was a natural choice. To make it even more convenient this time around, Rachel was living in Chicago and had room for us to crash in the living room of her apartment!
I had a couple of things I wanted to do while we were there: try on bridesmaid dresses, and shop at Lush and Paper Source (which were even on the same street, just a few blocks apart. Super convenient!)
In addition, since we are all theatre geeks, I got to make suggestions for what show I wanted to see. We ended up seeing Sweeney Todd!
I had a couple of things I wanted to do while we were there: try on bridesmaid dresses, and shop at Lush and Paper Source (which were even on the same street, just a few blocks apart. Super convenient!)
In addition, since we are all theatre geeks, I got to make suggestions for what show I wanted to see. We ended up seeing Sweeney Todd!
(Source)
It's no secret that I have a ridiculous crush on Johnny Depp, so I had seen the movie version and loooooooooooooved it, but definitely wanted to see the theatrical version as well, especially since this was the 2005 revival version, which had all of the actors playing the music on stage! Very cool.
We also got to see it at the very cool Cadillac Palace Theatre
We also got to see it at the very cool Cadillac Palace Theatre
(Picture by Brittany)
Best of all, we got to dress up all pretty for the show - it was the sort of theatre where if you showed up in jeans you would feel seriously underdressed.
There was also a sex toy party...of which there are no pictures :-( But I'm sure they would have been hilarious. (It was awesome to be the bride there. The rep had only brought one of a couple of the toys with her, so everyone would defer to me to see if I wanted it first!)
We also found out that, despite being a resident of Chicago for several years, Rachel had never been to the Field Museum!
There was also a sex toy party...of which there are no pictures :-( But I'm sure they would have been hilarious. (It was awesome to be the bride there. The rep had only brought one of a couple of the toys with her, so everyone would defer to me to see if I wanted it first!)
We also found out that, despite being a resident of Chicago for several years, Rachel had never been to the Field Museum!
(Look out! Sue's gonna getcha! Photo by Brittany)
Billy also requested that if there were any triceratops at the museum, that I get a picture for him.
Probably the most attractive picture of me ever
I did it! (mostly - the pickle wouldn't stay on the bun! I swear!)
Brittany, Nicole and I also checked out the aquarium while Rachel was doing some emergency repair work on her computer, which had been soaked in a rainstorm.
(Ahh! Big fish!)
(Ahh! Big fish!)
And finally, the most important part of any party: Food. I was obsessed with getting a Chicago-style hot dog (best food in the world - if I could serve them at the wedding, I probably would!). Luckily, right outside of the aquarium was a hot dog cart.
Yum!
Probably the most attractive picture of me ever
I did it! (mostly - the pickle wouldn't stay on the bun! I swear!)
Anyone else have a multi-day adventure for their bachelorette party (or any other wedding-related festivity?) What were the highlights?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Family Drama
It seems like one of the most common bridal horror stories has to do with family. Maybe it's Dad not wanting to contribute his share, or a future mother-in-law going crazy with her guest list demands. Possibly everyone who has ever gotten married has a story like that (my mom has a hilarious one regarding my dad's parents), but I don't know if I've ever heard anyone else with my particular conundrum before...
As I mentioned in my last post, for me my family consists of my mom, my dad, and my younger brother, Dan. Totally average American family, right? Except for one little hitch: Dan is autistic.
Autism is an incredibly complex disorder, so invariably when I share with friends that I have an autistic brother I'm hit with a barrage of questions. Thankfully, most people have figured out that Dennis Hoffman's portrayal is less-than-accurate, but there are still lots of questions.
Dan is what we describe as "moderately autistic." He can speak and hold limited conversations with people, but he's also very regimented with his schedule and hates change of any sort. Also, heartbreakingly, he functions just high enough to recognize that he's different from other people, but he can't define it or understand why.
He is also ridiculously good at video games. Like, we don't buy video games for him any more because he beats them in an afternoon. It's kind of crazy.
Because of Dan's special needs, we didn't have the sibling relationship that most other people had. We didn't roughhouse (because when we did I usually ended up falling down a flight of stairs!), nor did we have a lot of sibling rivalry. Instead, I spent half of my childhood as a third parent. Not because my parents forced me to, I just picked it up on my own. When we were little I acted as his translator because his speech was often too garbled for the adults to understand (or he was talking about cartoons or toys our parents hadn't caught on to yet, so he really might as well have been speaking a foreign language to them), and I constantly defended him against anyone who would dare make fun of him or people like him.
But there never seemed to be much of a mutual relationship between us. I loved him, took care of him, helped him with school work and video games (before they got too complex for me), and he...didn't care, it seemed. Once I moved away for college my parents said he'd occasionally mention that he missed me, or hoped I would be home for Christmas or whatever, but I didn't really come up very much.
Billy, however, seemed to become his best friend the first time they met. Because Billy knew video games! Billy was a guy! Billy was cool!
So imagine my complete surprise when I told my family that Billy and I were engaged...and Dan freaked out. He was angry and sullen and told everyone that Billy was taking away the person that was most important to him and ripping out his heart.
Ouch.
He also must have heard my dad refer to Billy as "son" at one point, because he also got it into his head at one point that Billy was going to replace him.
Luckily, my family does have some community resources that help people like Dan and we were able to get him in to talk to a social worker and a counselor. They've assured us that we didn't do anything to set Dan off; most likely any sort of major change, like Dad retiring in a couple of years, could have made this happen. It's also revealed that most likely there's some other disorder like depression simmering under the surface, as often happens to people in Dan's situation, so he can get help for that as well.
So while I'm glad Dan is getting lots of help and support, it's also making planning the wedding rather difficult. I can't talk about it on the phone with Mom if Dan is in the house, and even when I go home to visit Mom and I usually do most of our planning out at lunch or holed up in her craft room. Also, if Billy comes home with me, we have to rent a hotel room, since his presence at the house can often send Dan into a fit. Since we've been saving money for both the wedding and moving to New York, this has meant very few trips back to my place together.
But possibly the hardest part of this? At this point, my little brother is not going to be attending the wedding. Occasionally I'll get depressed and feel like I'm probably the only sister in the world who has ever had to exclude her brother from any part of the wedding festivities. He's not standing up in the wedding party, he's not maintaining the guest book...he probably won't even attend the ceremony or reception. Because no one wants a meltdown in the middle of the wedding day. It sucks, it hurts, but unless there's a major breakthrough in the next six months, this is just the way it's going to have to be for everyone's well being.
What sort of family problems have been thrown your way? How are you working around them?
As I mentioned in my last post, for me my family consists of my mom, my dad, and my younger brother, Dan. Totally average American family, right? Except for one little hitch: Dan is autistic.
Autism is an incredibly complex disorder, so invariably when I share with friends that I have an autistic brother I'm hit with a barrage of questions. Thankfully, most people have figured out that Dennis Hoffman's portrayal is less-than-accurate, but there are still lots of questions.
Dan is what we describe as "moderately autistic." He can speak and hold limited conversations with people, but he's also very regimented with his schedule and hates change of any sort. Also, heartbreakingly, he functions just high enough to recognize that he's different from other people, but he can't define it or understand why.
He is also ridiculously good at video games. Like, we don't buy video games for him any more because he beats them in an afternoon. It's kind of crazy.
Because of Dan's special needs, we didn't have the sibling relationship that most other people had. We didn't roughhouse (because when we did I usually ended up falling down a flight of stairs!), nor did we have a lot of sibling rivalry. Instead, I spent half of my childhood as a third parent. Not because my parents forced me to, I just picked it up on my own. When we were little I acted as his translator because his speech was often too garbled for the adults to understand (or he was talking about cartoons or toys our parents hadn't caught on to yet, so he really might as well have been speaking a foreign language to them), and I constantly defended him against anyone who would dare make fun of him or people like him.
But there never seemed to be much of a mutual relationship between us. I loved him, took care of him, helped him with school work and video games (before they got too complex for me), and he...didn't care, it seemed. Once I moved away for college my parents said he'd occasionally mention that he missed me, or hoped I would be home for Christmas or whatever, but I didn't really come up very much.
Billy, however, seemed to become his best friend the first time they met. Because Billy knew video games! Billy was a guy! Billy was cool!
So imagine my complete surprise when I told my family that Billy and I were engaged...and Dan freaked out. He was angry and sullen and told everyone that Billy was taking away the person that was most important to him and ripping out his heart.
Ouch.
He also must have heard my dad refer to Billy as "son" at one point, because he also got it into his head at one point that Billy was going to replace him.
Luckily, my family does have some community resources that help people like Dan and we were able to get him in to talk to a social worker and a counselor. They've assured us that we didn't do anything to set Dan off; most likely any sort of major change, like Dad retiring in a couple of years, could have made this happen. It's also revealed that most likely there's some other disorder like depression simmering under the surface, as often happens to people in Dan's situation, so he can get help for that as well.
So while I'm glad Dan is getting lots of help and support, it's also making planning the wedding rather difficult. I can't talk about it on the phone with Mom if Dan is in the house, and even when I go home to visit Mom and I usually do most of our planning out at lunch or holed up in her craft room. Also, if Billy comes home with me, we have to rent a hotel room, since his presence at the house can often send Dan into a fit. Since we've been saving money for both the wedding and moving to New York, this has meant very few trips back to my place together.
But possibly the hardest part of this? At this point, my little brother is not going to be attending the wedding. Occasionally I'll get depressed and feel like I'm probably the only sister in the world who has ever had to exclude her brother from any part of the wedding festivities. He's not standing up in the wedding party, he's not maintaining the guest book...he probably won't even attend the ceremony or reception. Because no one wants a meltdown in the middle of the wedding day. It sucks, it hurts, but unless there's a major breakthrough in the next six months, this is just the way it's going to have to be for everyone's well being.
What sort of family problems have been thrown your way? How are you working around them?
Monday, August 11, 2008
Gaining a Family
I come from a relatively small family. Unlike a lot of people in my home town, my immediate family was the only family close by; everyone else was living within five minutes of their cousins and grand parents and great-grand parents.
For me, it was just Mom, Dad, my brother and myself. I had an aunt in Kentucky, an uncle who had married an atrocious woman who didn't want him to have any contact with the rest of the family (they finally divorced so now I actually do get to see him and my cousins occasionally), and grandparents that ranged from average to terrible several hours away.
Billy's family is pretty much the opposite. Not only does he have an additional sister in his immediate family, but both of his parents come from large families, one of which lived near him in Ohio. The other half of the family was centered in Arizona, but it sounds like they get together at least once a year for a big family bash.
So for me, every time I attend a family gathering, I'm completely overwhelmed! I'm trying to get over it, but still I usually end up in a corner with a stiff drink half way through the evening. And never referring to anyone by name.
This evening, however, it really hit me that in the process of marrying my best friend, I'm also going to be gaining a family with him. And perhaps best of all, I'm going to be getting a sister in the process.
What's interesting is that, growing up, I never particularly wanted a sister! My hands were full enough with my brother (who is going to get a post entirely dedicated to him soon). And then by the time middle school rolled around, I quickly acquired several friends who became my family and we would often refer to each other by some permutation of sister (coincidentally, these women make up the rest of my bridesmaids, after Billy's sister).
Since my bridesmaids are all over the place currently, we've been keeping in contact via Facebook to plan everything. This week there's been a flurry of activity to make sure everyone has had their measurements taken, what sorts of shoes do they want to wear, and whether everyone can pay for their dresses up front so we can go with the overall cheaper dress shop. While everyone else has sent me rather perfunctory messages just letting me know the specifics I asked for, my future sister-in-law sent me a pretty chatty message, updating me on how life is going (she's currently competing in a pretty competitive semi-professional golf tournament. Or maybe it's straight-up professional? It's not the LPGA - yet - but the whole golf thing leaves me totally in the dark!) and saying how much fun she had hanging out last time Billy and I were in Ohio.
It wasn't anything extravagant. Just a nice note that left me feeling warm and fuzzy inside with the realization that in a little over six months I was going to have a sister!
How does everyone else feel about gaining a family?
For me, it was just Mom, Dad, my brother and myself. I had an aunt in Kentucky, an uncle who had married an atrocious woman who didn't want him to have any contact with the rest of the family (they finally divorced so now I actually do get to see him and my cousins occasionally), and grandparents that ranged from average to terrible several hours away.
Billy's family is pretty much the opposite. Not only does he have an additional sister in his immediate family, but both of his parents come from large families, one of which lived near him in Ohio. The other half of the family was centered in Arizona, but it sounds like they get together at least once a year for a big family bash.
So for me, every time I attend a family gathering, I'm completely overwhelmed! I'm trying to get over it, but still I usually end up in a corner with a stiff drink half way through the evening. And never referring to anyone by name.
This evening, however, it really hit me that in the process of marrying my best friend, I'm also going to be gaining a family with him. And perhaps best of all, I'm going to be getting a sister in the process.
What's interesting is that, growing up, I never particularly wanted a sister! My hands were full enough with my brother (who is going to get a post entirely dedicated to him soon). And then by the time middle school rolled around, I quickly acquired several friends who became my family and we would often refer to each other by some permutation of sister (coincidentally, these women make up the rest of my bridesmaids, after Billy's sister).
Since my bridesmaids are all over the place currently, we've been keeping in contact via Facebook to plan everything. This week there's been a flurry of activity to make sure everyone has had their measurements taken, what sorts of shoes do they want to wear, and whether everyone can pay for their dresses up front so we can go with the overall cheaper dress shop. While everyone else has sent me rather perfunctory messages just letting me know the specifics I asked for, my future sister-in-law sent me a pretty chatty message, updating me on how life is going (she's currently competing in a pretty competitive semi-professional golf tournament. Or maybe it's straight-up professional? It's not the LPGA - yet - but the whole golf thing leaves me totally in the dark!) and saying how much fun she had hanging out last time Billy and I were in Ohio.
It wasn't anything extravagant. Just a nice note that left me feeling warm and fuzzy inside with the realization that in a little over six months I was going to have a sister!
How does everyone else feel about gaining a family?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
I'm back!
Sorry for disappearing there for a little while. Billy and I had a very important trip to attend to...
New York City!
(Source)
New York City!
(Source)
In less than 20 days, Billy and I will be moving out of Michigan and into a brand new, teeny tiny studio apartment in Queens. Seriously, the size of this apartment is a little ridiculous...but as we told ourselves, it's only for a year. We can handle it for a year.
So while it's definitely exciting to finally have our place in our dream city, I'm excited for the new avenue of wedding planning it opens up for me: registering!
I started my registry on Wishpot a few weeks ago, because I was insanely bored. However, I put a limit on myself for what I could register for, because at that time we weren't sure if we were going to be getting a studio or a one bedroom apartment, and the sort of furniture/linens/etc that we would need would depend on how much room we have.
So as soon as Billy is up and going for the day, we're going to browse around various home-furnishing websites and figure out what sort of colors we should decorate with. It's exciting, but also a little overwhelming. We can only put so many colors in our apartment without overwhelming it...but I like so many colors (that won't necessarily look good together), that I hardly know where to start!
Any suggestions for small-apartment living?
So while it's definitely exciting to finally have our place in our dream city, I'm excited for the new avenue of wedding planning it opens up for me: registering!
I started my registry on Wishpot a few weeks ago, because I was insanely bored. However, I put a limit on myself for what I could register for, because at that time we weren't sure if we were going to be getting a studio or a one bedroom apartment, and the sort of furniture/linens/etc that we would need would depend on how much room we have.
So as soon as Billy is up and going for the day, we're going to browse around various home-furnishing websites and figure out what sort of colors we should decorate with. It's exciting, but also a little overwhelming. We can only put so many colors in our apartment without overwhelming it...but I like so many colors (that won't necessarily look good together), that I hardly know where to start!
Any suggestions for small-apartment living?
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Engagement Photos
Billy and I had our engagement photos taken way back in May, the day after I returned from my bachelorette trip (I'll blog about that experience soon!). I was super nervous leading up to the day because at a week out, this was the weather forecast:
Eeek! Nooooooooo!
See, our photographer, Jen, was traveling all the way from Grand Rapids to do our engagement photos for us in Ypsilanti. At the time Billy was working in retail, which meant that trying to get an entire weekend off so we could make the trip back to Grand Rapids was nearly impossible. A Sunday afternoon, however, we could manage. So I was hoping that this day would work out, since Jen's schedule for engagement photos during the summer was quickly being filled.
Everything worked out however. (Insert big sigh of relief here!)
It was a fabulous sunny day. We wandered around Depot Town and Frog Island Park and got some fabulous photos.
I have to say, one thing I cannot wait to do after the wedding is over is write up a full vendor review about Jen. Not only is she incredibly talented (as the forthcoming pictures will make obvious), but she is always so bubbly and happy and is clearly very passionate about her work. She's a completely unobtrusive photographer; when we met up she told us to "do our thing" and she'd take the pictures. True to her word, there wasn't a lot of formal posing done. Occasionally she'd make a suggestion, or stop us in a nice stand of trees to do the "traditional" engagement photo for our parents/newspapers, but nothing demanding. Billy had been sure he was going to hate doing this, but he found that he actually had fun!
Of course, since we had so much fun, Jen has now created a monster. Not only did I leap at the chance to get boudoir pictures done by her, but I'm plotting how I can convince Billy in the future that we need to make periodic trips back to Grand Rapids to have more pictures taken. I'm a total prima donna sometimes :-D
Here are some of my favorite pictures:
I want to put these two in a folding frame side by side. We're both just so cute!
Ha, this photo confused both sets of parents. Luckily, Jen and I share a love of shoes, so I thought this one was great (and is, I hope, a foreshadowing of the lovely shoe shots I'll get at the wedding!)
There was a vintage car show going on at the park! The owner of this car even let us hop inside for a few pictures, but I think this is my favorite of the bunch. I'm going to give a copy to my grandfather who loves cars (when I got my senior pictures done in high school, we took a picture of me with my car and gave that one to my grandfather, too. It's a theme!)
This, however, is probably my favorite photo of the day. I absolutely LOVE it.
I know some people hesitate before getting engagement photos taken, but if it's in your budget (or included in your wedding package like it was for us!), I definitely recommend having them done. Not only do they capture a unique moment in time, but they give you a chance to get to know your photographer before the big day!
Eeek! Nooooooooo!
See, our photographer, Jen, was traveling all the way from Grand Rapids to do our engagement photos for us in Ypsilanti. At the time Billy was working in retail, which meant that trying to get an entire weekend off so we could make the trip back to Grand Rapids was nearly impossible. A Sunday afternoon, however, we could manage. So I was hoping that this day would work out, since Jen's schedule for engagement photos during the summer was quickly being filled.
Everything worked out however. (Insert big sigh of relief here!)
It was a fabulous sunny day. We wandered around Depot Town and Frog Island Park and got some fabulous photos.
I have to say, one thing I cannot wait to do after the wedding is over is write up a full vendor review about Jen. Not only is she incredibly talented (as the forthcoming pictures will make obvious), but she is always so bubbly and happy and is clearly very passionate about her work. She's a completely unobtrusive photographer; when we met up she told us to "do our thing" and she'd take the pictures. True to her word, there wasn't a lot of formal posing done. Occasionally she'd make a suggestion, or stop us in a nice stand of trees to do the "traditional" engagement photo for our parents/newspapers, but nothing demanding. Billy had been sure he was going to hate doing this, but he found that he actually had fun!
Of course, since we had so much fun, Jen has now created a monster. Not only did I leap at the chance to get boudoir pictures done by her, but I'm plotting how I can convince Billy in the future that we need to make periodic trips back to Grand Rapids to have more pictures taken. I'm a total prima donna sometimes :-D
Here are some of my favorite pictures:
I want to put these two in a folding frame side by side. We're both just so cute!
Ha, this photo confused both sets of parents. Luckily, Jen and I share a love of shoes, so I thought this one was great (and is, I hope, a foreshadowing of the lovely shoe shots I'll get at the wedding!)
There was a vintage car show going on at the park! The owner of this car even let us hop inside for a few pictures, but I think this is my favorite of the bunch. I'm going to give a copy to my grandfather who loves cars (when I got my senior pictures done in high school, we took a picture of me with my car and gave that one to my grandfather, too. It's a theme!)
This, however, is probably my favorite photo of the day. I absolutely LOVE it.
I know some people hesitate before getting engagement photos taken, but if it's in your budget (or included in your wedding package like it was for us!), I definitely recommend having them done. Not only do they capture a unique moment in time, but they give you a chance to get to know your photographer before the big day!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Why I wedding blog
There are probably as many reasons to blog, in general, as there are individual bloggers. Some people just want their own little corner of the internet, others have ideas on a much grander scale for setting up the Next Big Thing in blogging.
But what about wedding bloggers? Back in May, the New York Times implied that cultivating online friendships around your mutual weddings was, at the very least, a novelty. But it also brings up excellent points about why someone might spend a lot of time at the Knot message boards: filling in the gaps in excitement. The rest of the world really doesn't care about our centerpieces, however other brides in the exact same situation can get themselves quite worked up on your behalf.
And that is precisely why I'm blogging specifically about my wedding. I haven't found a message board where I really fit in yet (all of the pertinent Knot boards seem a little too fixated on various traditions for my taste). Having my own blog lets me set the tone and guide the conversation.
It also lets me wax poetic about any given wedding-related subject without worrying about boring my audience to tears. Most likely if you're reading this, you have at least a passing interest in the planning process of someone else's wedding, but if part of my planning process doesn't interest you, you can always skip that post and come back later to see if I've gotten interesting yet. My bridesmaids, the people most brides turn to first to share their wedding excitement, are absolutely lovely women (obviously), but it doesn't seem like they have a whole lot of excitement for the accomplishments of finally getting all of the necessary addresses, or discovering that silk purple peonies came in at Michael's.
I was finally prompted to spin this blog off from my personal blog after going out to the bar and meeting another soon-to-be married friend there, where we would do nothing but talk about our various wedding planning experiences for an hour or two at a time. She was constantly worrying that she was boring me, and I her, I think in part because we aren't the type of women who normally get caught up in the excitement of something that, at the end of the day, is rather superficial. I mean, the last deep conversation we had was tag-teaming on extolling the virtues of feminism to a mutual acquaintance!
But I also realized that, as unexpected as they were, these conversations have been the highlights of my day. Because for an hour at a time, I got to let my hair down and actually have a conversation with someone about how awesome my photographer was, or figuring out whether or not I should wear a veil. And as girly as it was, it was fun.
And since I can't have those conversations every single day (especially since Billy and I are moving soon!), I've now turned to having my own, personal wedding blog.
Why do you blog?
But what about wedding bloggers? Back in May, the New York Times implied that cultivating online friendships around your mutual weddings was, at the very least, a novelty. But it also brings up excellent points about why someone might spend a lot of time at the Knot message boards: filling in the gaps in excitement. The rest of the world really doesn't care about our centerpieces, however other brides in the exact same situation can get themselves quite worked up on your behalf.
And that is precisely why I'm blogging specifically about my wedding. I haven't found a message board where I really fit in yet (all of the pertinent Knot boards seem a little too fixated on various traditions for my taste). Having my own blog lets me set the tone and guide the conversation.
It also lets me wax poetic about any given wedding-related subject without worrying about boring my audience to tears. Most likely if you're reading this, you have at least a passing interest in the planning process of someone else's wedding, but if part of my planning process doesn't interest you, you can always skip that post and come back later to see if I've gotten interesting yet. My bridesmaids, the people most brides turn to first to share their wedding excitement, are absolutely lovely women (obviously), but it doesn't seem like they have a whole lot of excitement for the accomplishments of finally getting all of the necessary addresses, or discovering that silk purple peonies came in at Michael's.
I was finally prompted to spin this blog off from my personal blog after going out to the bar and meeting another soon-to-be married friend there, where we would do nothing but talk about our various wedding planning experiences for an hour or two at a time. She was constantly worrying that she was boring me, and I her, I think in part because we aren't the type of women who normally get caught up in the excitement of something that, at the end of the day, is rather superficial. I mean, the last deep conversation we had was tag-teaming on extolling the virtues of feminism to a mutual acquaintance!
But I also realized that, as unexpected as they were, these conversations have been the highlights of my day. Because for an hour at a time, I got to let my hair down and actually have a conversation with someone about how awesome my photographer was, or figuring out whether or not I should wear a veil. And as girly as it was, it was fun.
And since I can't have those conversations every single day (especially since Billy and I are moving soon!), I've now turned to having my own, personal wedding blog.
Why do you blog?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The obligatory name-change post
First, let me say that I am so happy that I live in a time where it is no longer a 100% given that a wife takes her husband's name. It's still a hot topic of conversation, but so far I haven't gotten any weird looks over my decision.
And what's that decision?
I'm keeping my last name. Billy's keeping his last name.
Yep, we're radicals.
We'd discussed several other possibilities for name changes. My one qualification was that we either both changed our names, or neither of us did (meaning I wasn't going to become Angela Myname-Hisname while he remained Billy Hisname).
The options we discussed were hyphenating, smushing our names together (probably my favorite), or picking out a new name all together (we were really close to becoming the Blaizers for awhile. Because it sounds bad ass. And when you're choosing your own name, why not go the badass route?).
But ultimately, we currently both want to keep our own names. Billy because he has that stereotypical American male attitude about the man passing along his family name, and myself because I would like to present to the world that not all people with my last name (see: my dad's side of the family) are complete imbeciles.
We're going to be re-examining our position in a couple of years when we have kids. Even if we both keep our own names, the kid(s?) has to have one, whether that's Myname, Hisname, Myname-Hisname or Blaizer. But for right now, I think we'll both be happiest keeping our own names.
This isn't a sign of our lack of commitment. This isn't the end of civilization. It's our personal decision that works for us, like so many wedding decisions are.
So what about your life WON'T be changing after the wedding?
And what's that decision?
I'm keeping my last name. Billy's keeping his last name.
Yep, we're radicals.
We'd discussed several other possibilities for name changes. My one qualification was that we either both changed our names, or neither of us did (meaning I wasn't going to become Angela Myname-Hisname while he remained Billy Hisname).
The options we discussed were hyphenating, smushing our names together (probably my favorite), or picking out a new name all together (we were really close to becoming the Blaizers for awhile. Because it sounds bad ass. And when you're choosing your own name, why not go the badass route?).
But ultimately, we currently both want to keep our own names. Billy because he has that stereotypical American male attitude about the man passing along his family name, and myself because I would like to present to the world that not all people with my last name (see: my dad's side of the family) are complete imbeciles.
We're going to be re-examining our position in a couple of years when we have kids. Even if we both keep our own names, the kid(s?) has to have one, whether that's Myname, Hisname, Myname-Hisname or Blaizer. But for right now, I think we'll both be happiest keeping our own names.
This isn't a sign of our lack of commitment. This isn't the end of civilization. It's our personal decision that works for us, like so many wedding decisions are.
So what about your life WON'T be changing after the wedding?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The search for bridesmaid dresses
Figuring out what, in general, I wanted to do for bridesmaid dresses was one of my early priorities in wedding planning. At first it was very general. Everyone in the same dress or let them choose? Should the dresses be purple or gray? Floor length or cocktail length? What designers won't charge an arm and a leg for a dress?
I decided to be rather laid back regarding the dresses. I would dictate the designer, the color (purple or gray - either everyone in one color, two in each color, or the maid of honor in one color and everyone else in the other) and the length (Cocktail) and after that the women could pick whatever they wanted (theoretically I had veto power over anything, since I went shopping with them everywhere, but luckily I never had to exercise said-power. Everyone seems to have good taste).
An early bachelorette party/dressmaking excursion was planned for the end of April, when three of my bridesmaids and myself would meet up in Chicago (one of the bridesmaids was going to school there at the time), hang out, party and find their dresses! So I picked out the two designers I wanted to look at, and with the help of my Chicago-based bridesmaid we figured out where we should go looking. The designers were Alfred Angelo and Wtoo from Watters and Watters. We'd look for the latter first, at Macy's, and then in the afternoon we planned on going to Lily's Bridal and Gifts. And wow, were the two experiences like night and day.
Me outside of Macy's! I'm assuming this was perhaps the original Marshall Fields before Macy's bought them out
The Macy's bridal salon is very pretty and shiny, with a decent amount of dresses to go through. The help, however, I wasn't as fond of.
The three bridesmaids that attended this trip aren't size zero models. Nor are they bridal size 10 models - the only dress size in the store. The sales woman took our dresses to the dressing room, and then completely abandoned us there, leaving us to fend for ourselves as we realized that no one could even get these dresses over their hips, let alone get a real feel for how they would look once they were in the proper size. When I finally tracked down the saleswoman to ask about this, she said we simply had to hold them in front of ourselves, or I could try on the dresses to see what they were like. Now, as much as I like the idea of getting dressed up in pretty clothes, that really wasn't going to give anyone an idea of what these dresses looked like, as I'm built drastically different than the rest of my bridal party.
I think the worst part was when she very snottily told us that we were going to find the exact same situation everywhere. This woman had absolutely no empathy for our situation.
So we left Macy's, thoroughly dejected, but hopeful that we wouldn't have such an abysmal experience at the next shop.
Lily's boutique was much better. There were a couple of dress sizes, so everyone could try on something to get an estimation of what the dresses looked like. Nothing fit like a glove, but we could pull the dresses on, and then I would stand behind someone and hold the dress taut to see what the dress kind of looked like.
Everyone walked out that day, having picked out a dress they liked :-) Here they are...
Maid of Honor Brittany:
(with the sash in Grape)
Bridesmaid Rachel:
Bridesmaid Nicole:
(this will be hemmed so it's knee length. Every sewist we've talked to has said a hem is a hem, whether it's two inches or eight, and we wouldn't be charged extra for cutting the dress down)
Bridesmaid Carling:
(the Alfred Angelo website is being LAME in regards to this dress and won't let me see the front in a different color. This will be in either purple or gray; Carling hasn't told me which!)
With that down, now we just need to figure out shoes! And hair. And makeup...for every small thing I accomplish, it seems the list just keeps growing!
Anyone else have abysmal bridal salon experiences?
I decided to be rather laid back regarding the dresses. I would dictate the designer, the color (purple or gray - either everyone in one color, two in each color, or the maid of honor in one color and everyone else in the other) and the length (Cocktail) and after that the women could pick whatever they wanted (theoretically I had veto power over anything, since I went shopping with them everywhere, but luckily I never had to exercise said-power. Everyone seems to have good taste).
An early bachelorette party/dressmaking excursion was planned for the end of April, when three of my bridesmaids and myself would meet up in Chicago (one of the bridesmaids was going to school there at the time), hang out, party and find their dresses! So I picked out the two designers I wanted to look at, and with the help of my Chicago-based bridesmaid we figured out where we should go looking. The designers were Alfred Angelo and Wtoo from Watters and Watters. We'd look for the latter first, at Macy's, and then in the afternoon we planned on going to Lily's Bridal and Gifts. And wow, were the two experiences like night and day.
Me outside of Macy's! I'm assuming this was perhaps the original Marshall Fields before Macy's bought them out
The Macy's bridal salon is very pretty and shiny, with a decent amount of dresses to go through. The help, however, I wasn't as fond of.
The three bridesmaids that attended this trip aren't size zero models. Nor are they bridal size 10 models - the only dress size in the store. The sales woman took our dresses to the dressing room, and then completely abandoned us there, leaving us to fend for ourselves as we realized that no one could even get these dresses over their hips, let alone get a real feel for how they would look once they were in the proper size. When I finally tracked down the saleswoman to ask about this, she said we simply had to hold them in front of ourselves, or I could try on the dresses to see what they were like. Now, as much as I like the idea of getting dressed up in pretty clothes, that really wasn't going to give anyone an idea of what these dresses looked like, as I'm built drastically different than the rest of my bridal party.
I think the worst part was when she very snottily told us that we were going to find the exact same situation everywhere. This woman had absolutely no empathy for our situation.
So we left Macy's, thoroughly dejected, but hopeful that we wouldn't have such an abysmal experience at the next shop.
Lily's boutique was much better. There were a couple of dress sizes, so everyone could try on something to get an estimation of what the dresses looked like. Nothing fit like a glove, but we could pull the dresses on, and then I would stand behind someone and hold the dress taut to see what the dress kind of looked like.
Everyone walked out that day, having picked out a dress they liked :-) Here they are...
Maid of Honor Brittany:
(with the sash in Grape)Bridesmaid Rachel:
Bridesmaid Nicole:
(this will be hemmed so it's knee length. Every sewist we've talked to has said a hem is a hem, whether it's two inches or eight, and we wouldn't be charged extra for cutting the dress down)Bridesmaid Carling:
(the Alfred Angelo website is being LAME in regards to this dress and won't let me see the front in a different color. This will be in either purple or gray; Carling hasn't told me which!)With that down, now we just need to figure out shoes! And hair. And makeup...for every small thing I accomplish, it seems the list just keeps growing!
Anyone else have abysmal bridal salon experiences?
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Fantasy Registry
Some people have fantasy sports teams...I have a fantasy registry.
Billy and I are at an awkward time in our lives, when it comes to an accumulation of "stuff." We moved in together two years ago, and have acquired plenty of necessities. We have a bunch of towels, we have basic (if second hand) cookware, and my mom went kind of crazy buying me dishes. I've lost count of how many sets of Corelle Classic Cafe Black dishes I have.
(Source)
She bought my first set when we moved in together, and then someone at the Corelle outlet told her they had discontinued the pattern, so she went on a binge on eBay and Amazon.Com and bought me, like, three more sets. Plus a couple of sets of additional plates and bowls. So dishware is one thing we DEFINITELY don't need to register for.
So I've been contemplating what I would register for if I could register for anything in the whole wide world. And while I know there are plenty of non-traditional registries out there (for example, the honeymoon registry which we're most likely doing), most of the things I want are just a little too ridiculous to actually expect someone to buy for us.
So, here are a few items off of my fantasy registry:
I didn't save where I got this from...if you know, I'll correct it!
Billy and I are both huge nerds, and proud of it. And "Crafty" is a pun on my last name.
(Source)
(Source)
By virtue of being huge nerds, Billy and I are huge fans of Battlestar Galactica. We're also both a little political, often with very different viewpoints on some issues (there were some very fierce debates in our apartment over Clinton vs Obama). While both of these shirts would be outdated by the time we got married, they'd sure be fun to wear on election day!
And a fantasy registry item that has made it on to the real registry...
(Source)
Yep, I'm one of those brides who's hoping to work on her wedding body via video games. Unfortunately, this darn thing is still impossible to find. Maybe some generous wedding guest will have more patience (and luck!) than Billy and I have.
If you could register for anything, what would it be? Is anything on your registry going to raise eyebrows among some of your guests?
Billy and I are at an awkward time in our lives, when it comes to an accumulation of "stuff." We moved in together two years ago, and have acquired plenty of necessities. We have a bunch of towels, we have basic (if second hand) cookware, and my mom went kind of crazy buying me dishes. I've lost count of how many sets of Corelle Classic Cafe Black dishes I have.
(Source)
She bought my first set when we moved in together, and then someone at the Corelle outlet told her they had discontinued the pattern, so she went on a binge on eBay and Amazon.Com and bought me, like, three more sets. Plus a couple of sets of additional plates and bowls. So dishware is one thing we DEFINITELY don't need to register for.
So I've been contemplating what I would register for if I could register for anything in the whole wide world. And while I know there are plenty of non-traditional registries out there (for example, the honeymoon registry which we're most likely doing), most of the things I want are just a little too ridiculous to actually expect someone to buy for us.
So, here are a few items off of my fantasy registry:
I didn't save where I got this from...if you know, I'll correct it!
Billy and I are both huge nerds, and proud of it. And "Crafty" is a pun on my last name.
(Source)
(Source)
By virtue of being huge nerds, Billy and I are huge fans of Battlestar Galactica. We're also both a little political, often with very different viewpoints on some issues (there were some very fierce debates in our apartment over Clinton vs Obama). While both of these shirts would be outdated by the time we got married, they'd sure be fun to wear on election day!
And a fantasy registry item that has made it on to the real registry...
(Source)
Yep, I'm one of those brides who's hoping to work on her wedding body via video games. Unfortunately, this darn thing is still impossible to find. Maybe some generous wedding guest will have more patience (and luck!) than Billy and I have.
If you could register for anything, what would it be? Is anything on your registry going to raise eyebrows among some of your guests?
Friday, July 25, 2008
Wedding Planning Binder and the color choice debut!
Well, "debut" might be misleading. An eagle-eyed reader might actually have already caught my final color choice. After all, there are really only two colors on my Save the Date cards.
Purple & Gray color palette.
Complete with my old-school inspiration board...
Which is wear my wedding planning binder comes into play.
Earlier this summer it was oppressively hot. And my computer sits in a poorly ventilated corner of our apartment (seriously. I'll be sitting in my corner, sweating and complaining, while Billy is in the opposite corner on his computer cool as a cucumber. It's really not fair). So while I really, really wanted to put together some inspiration boards for all the various aspects of our wedding...it wasn't happening at the computer. So instead I printed out allllllllllllll of the various photos I've collected and sat down to make a series of inspiration boards to act as "covers" for all the different sections of my wedding planning binder.
A note on planning binders: at this point, I consider my binder to be an absolute necessity! While there are roughly 5,000 pre-made wedding binders out there, I highly recommend just making your own for a fraction of the cost of those other binders. All of the helpful hints and tricks and checklists in those pre-made binders can be found for free online, and setting up your own can be another fun mini-project to do while waiting to dig into the big ones!
Materials:
Three ring binder. This can be as fancy or cheap as you want. I bought a two inch purple binder with the plastic cover that let's you slip in your own paper, for ultimate customization.
Tabbed dividers. Mine even have pockets where I can keep copies of vendor contracts or various notes and have them organized by what part of the wedding they apply to!
Plastic envelope. This is where you keep track of receipts (just in case).
I also bought plastic page protectors so I could have my personalized inspiration board for each section.
My binder currently has five sections, and an inspiration board for each. There's a "general" section, which is headed by the above general inspiration board and keeps track of random wedding notes and the receipts, then attire with an inspiration board dedicated entirely to my dress (more about that soon!), flowers, photography (the inspiration board is for collecting various pictures that I want to recreate on the wedding day) and the reception (where I'm keeping the DJ contract, and the inspiration board is cake pictures and other random pictures that I didn't know what else to do with!).
Since so much of my wedding is being designed by scratch and by people (my mom and I) who aren't wedding professionals, my binder has been a lifesaver when trying to communicate what it is that I want with decorations/flowers/the dress etc. It's keeping everything in one, easy to locate place and is ultra portable. I bring it with me whenever I go hang out with girly-friends who like to talk weddings so I can show them bits and pieces and every single time I go home so I can make sure Mom is staying on track with the designs.
How are you organizing everything?
Purple & Gray color palette.
Complete with my old-school inspiration board...
Which is wear my wedding planning binder comes into play.
Earlier this summer it was oppressively hot. And my computer sits in a poorly ventilated corner of our apartment (seriously. I'll be sitting in my corner, sweating and complaining, while Billy is in the opposite corner on his computer cool as a cucumber. It's really not fair). So while I really, really wanted to put together some inspiration boards for all the various aspects of our wedding...it wasn't happening at the computer. So instead I printed out allllllllllllll of the various photos I've collected and sat down to make a series of inspiration boards to act as "covers" for all the different sections of my wedding planning binder.
A note on planning binders: at this point, I consider my binder to be an absolute necessity! While there are roughly 5,000 pre-made wedding binders out there, I highly recommend just making your own for a fraction of the cost of those other binders. All of the helpful hints and tricks and checklists in those pre-made binders can be found for free online, and setting up your own can be another fun mini-project to do while waiting to dig into the big ones!
Materials:
Three ring binder. This can be as fancy or cheap as you want. I bought a two inch purple binder with the plastic cover that let's you slip in your own paper, for ultimate customization.
Tabbed dividers. Mine even have pockets where I can keep copies of vendor contracts or various notes and have them organized by what part of the wedding they apply to!
Plastic envelope. This is where you keep track of receipts (just in case).
I also bought plastic page protectors so I could have my personalized inspiration board for each section.
My binder currently has five sections, and an inspiration board for each. There's a "general" section, which is headed by the above general inspiration board and keeps track of random wedding notes and the receipts, then attire with an inspiration board dedicated entirely to my dress (more about that soon!), flowers, photography (the inspiration board is for collecting various pictures that I want to recreate on the wedding day) and the reception (where I'm keeping the DJ contract, and the inspiration board is cake pictures and other random pictures that I didn't know what else to do with!).
Since so much of my wedding is being designed by scratch and by people (my mom and I) who aren't wedding professionals, my binder has been a lifesaver when trying to communicate what it is that I want with decorations/flowers/the dress etc. It's keeping everything in one, easy to locate place and is ultra portable. I bring it with me whenever I go hang out with girly-friends who like to talk weddings so I can show them bits and pieces and every single time I go home so I can make sure Mom is staying on track with the designs.
How are you organizing everything?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The colors, Duke! The colors!
I'm colorblind kid
But if your guests aren't colorblind dogs who don't appreciate popsicles, what colors should the wedding be?
This is something I began thinking about right away. I was thinking about colors before I was thinking about dresses.
My very, very first idea, which was quickly thrown out, was black and white, with either red or pink as an accent color.
(Source)
It's an absolutely chic color palette. Having a black-tinged wedding has actually been one of the few "wedding" thoughts I've had growing up. However...one of my friends got to it first. Last summer, when two friends of Billy and I got married (and we were in the wedding), their colors were black and white and red. It was elegant and great and memorable. There was no way I was going to ride on their coattails a year and a half later. (Not to mention such a stark palette just wouldn't work with the jewel toned decorations of our hotel)
So next I began thinking of other colors I/we like. I'm a huge fan of red...and the Oscars are gold...what about a red and gold palette?
(Source)
Except I'm not a fan of gold. And it seemed just a little too themed for my taste. I want to incorporate our love of film into the big day, but I also don't want it to come across as reliving senior prom, either.
Other colors we both like: blue and purple! But I quickly found that I absolutely COULD NOT find images of the two together. In my head it was fabulous, but I could never quite find anything that matched the two shades (rich and deep) I had in mind.
How did you choose your color palette? Why did you choose/reject a given combination?
But if your guests aren't colorblind dogs who don't appreciate popsicles, what colors should the wedding be?
This is something I began thinking about right away. I was thinking about colors before I was thinking about dresses.
My very, very first idea, which was quickly thrown out, was black and white, with either red or pink as an accent color.
(Source)
It's an absolutely chic color palette. Having a black-tinged wedding has actually been one of the few "wedding" thoughts I've had growing up. However...one of my friends got to it first. Last summer, when two friends of Billy and I got married (and we were in the wedding), their colors were black and white and red. It was elegant and great and memorable. There was no way I was going to ride on their coattails a year and a half later. (Not to mention such a stark palette just wouldn't work with the jewel toned decorations of our hotel)
So next I began thinking of other colors I/we like. I'm a huge fan of red...and the Oscars are gold...what about a red and gold palette?
(Source)
Except I'm not a fan of gold. And it seemed just a little too themed for my taste. I want to incorporate our love of film into the big day, but I also don't want it to come across as reliving senior prom, either.
Other colors we both like: blue and purple! But I quickly found that I absolutely COULD NOT find images of the two together. In my head it was fabulous, but I could never quite find anything that matched the two shades (rich and deep) I had in mind.
How did you choose your color palette? Why did you choose/reject a given combination?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Location: Do you WANT our money?
When we had met Amanda at the Doubletree Hotel, I explained up front that we were going to be planning our wedding long distance, first from Ypsilanti and then from New York. She assured me this wasn't going to be a problem between phone calls and e-mails.
I feel rather gullible now, having believed that.
Shortly after we checked out locations I got a job (yaaaaaaaaaaaay) that had me working from 8:30 am to 5:00 pm (boooooooooooo), which meant talking to Amanda on the phone during the week was out, since she kept very similar office hours. After three attempts at e-mailing her, and leaving an after-hours phone message, I finally sent my maid of honor (who was living in Holland at the time) to go check in on Amanda in person and make sure she hadn't disappeared off of the face of the earth.
She hadn't. Turns out she was having "e-mail problems" and she had totally sent me an e-mail! But she would send me another one later that day.
If she did, it never arrived.
Finally giving up on e-mail, Amanda left me a voice mail message during the day that said, if I was available, she would call me around noon on Saturday since she had to do some things in the office then and we would talk and get all of my questions answered.
When Saturday rolled around there was no call at noon. Or at one. At two I finally decided I should make myself some lunch, since she clearly wasn't going to call.
As soon as I pulled my pasta off of the stove my phone rang. Because that's just how my life works!
Once I could finally talk to her, she was very forthcoming and helpful and was helping me figure out what the different pre-made wedding packages could be customized to include, and what we should definitely swap out because really it wasn't a good deal and so on and so forth. While I had been frustrated as all get out trying to get hold of her, I now felt much better and was sure that this was the place we needed to book for our wedding.
So I began e-mailing. And calling. Trying to get some sort of confirmation that yes, our date was still open and we could book the rooms and we could have a contract and how much would the deposit be...it was very frustrating. I took to saving each and every e-mail I sent to her, and her response, as well as documenting any phone calls just in case I needed to take this to someone higher up in the hotel. There were several times I felt like giving up, but every time my laziness and basic faith in people won out. If we chose a different location, that would probably mean going back to Holland to see if there were any other places we could find (we had already booked a photographer and were in the process of booking a DJ for the February 21st date so I didn't feel like bargaining with them to move back to February 28th to go with DeVos). Also, I like to believe that people are basically good and want to help each other, ESPECIALLY when it involves earning large sums of money for your business in the off-season (when we checked out the hotel in January there were maybe five cars in the parking lot. When I went back to visit with my mom to check out the hotel's restaurant in March there were only a few more. West Michigan doesn't get many visitors before Tulip Time in May and then the place, or at least the hotels, is swamped through Labor Day).
So far, while the process has been agonizingly slow and frustrating, everything is working out. In May I finally got a correct contract (I had been sent one in April that wasn't even close to correct. We were being charged for 50 more people than could even fit into our reception space, and the food price was way too much as well) and we sent in our deposit, and then in June I made a trip back to Holland in part so I could meet with Amanda in person and make sure everything had arrived correctly and just figure out all of the details. Like when would our tasting be scheduled. I also took the time to show my mom the ceremony space, since when we had visited in March those rooms had been closed.
So my review so far of Doubletree: it's a great space with lots of options for your ceremony or reception. While Amanda is extremely flaky and hard to get hold of, once you can talk to her she is extremely nice and accommodating. I also found out in June that they had recently hired an assistant for her, so it's possible that some of the communication issues will work themselves out.
I feel rather gullible now, having believed that.
Shortly after we checked out locations I got a job (yaaaaaaaaaaaay) that had me working from 8:30 am to 5:00 pm (boooooooooooo), which meant talking to Amanda on the phone during the week was out, since she kept very similar office hours. After three attempts at e-mailing her, and leaving an after-hours phone message, I finally sent my maid of honor (who was living in Holland at the time) to go check in on Amanda in person and make sure she hadn't disappeared off of the face of the earth.
She hadn't. Turns out she was having "e-mail problems" and she had totally sent me an e-mail! But she would send me another one later that day.
If she did, it never arrived.
Finally giving up on e-mail, Amanda left me a voice mail message during the day that said, if I was available, she would call me around noon on Saturday since she had to do some things in the office then and we would talk and get all of my questions answered.
When Saturday rolled around there was no call at noon. Or at one. At two I finally decided I should make myself some lunch, since she clearly wasn't going to call.
As soon as I pulled my pasta off of the stove my phone rang. Because that's just how my life works!
Once I could finally talk to her, she was very forthcoming and helpful and was helping me figure out what the different pre-made wedding packages could be customized to include, and what we should definitely swap out because really it wasn't a good deal and so on and so forth. While I had been frustrated as all get out trying to get hold of her, I now felt much better and was sure that this was the place we needed to book for our wedding.
So I began e-mailing. And calling. Trying to get some sort of confirmation that yes, our date was still open and we could book the rooms and we could have a contract and how much would the deposit be...it was very frustrating. I took to saving each and every e-mail I sent to her, and her response, as well as documenting any phone calls just in case I needed to take this to someone higher up in the hotel. There were several times I felt like giving up, but every time my laziness and basic faith in people won out. If we chose a different location, that would probably mean going back to Holland to see if there were any other places we could find (we had already booked a photographer and were in the process of booking a DJ for the February 21st date so I didn't feel like bargaining with them to move back to February 28th to go with DeVos). Also, I like to believe that people are basically good and want to help each other, ESPECIALLY when it involves earning large sums of money for your business in the off-season (when we checked out the hotel in January there were maybe five cars in the parking lot. When I went back to visit with my mom to check out the hotel's restaurant in March there were only a few more. West Michigan doesn't get many visitors before Tulip Time in May and then the place, or at least the hotels, is swamped through Labor Day).
So far, while the process has been agonizingly slow and frustrating, everything is working out. In May I finally got a correct contract (I had been sent one in April that wasn't even close to correct. We were being charged for 50 more people than could even fit into our reception space, and the food price was way too much as well) and we sent in our deposit, and then in June I made a trip back to Holland in part so I could meet with Amanda in person and make sure everything had arrived correctly and just figure out all of the details. Like when would our tasting be scheduled. I also took the time to show my mom the ceremony space, since when we had visited in March those rooms had been closed.
So my review so far of Doubletree: it's a great space with lots of options for your ceremony or reception. While Amanda is extremely flaky and hard to get hold of, once you can talk to her she is extremely nice and accommodating. I also found out in June that they had recently hired an assistant for her, so it's possible that some of the communication issues will work themselves out.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Logistical break: Save the Date cards!
I'm tired of nitty-gritty details, so here's something more fun. My save the date cards! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Front
Back. Check out the hot smudging action!
Beautiful and fabulous, are they not? Best of all, they were 100% made by me, like all of our other paper products will be. Not necessarily because it's a money saver, but because a) I like a creative challenge and b) I am super possessive over stuff.
These took a couple of hours to make, from beginning the design process to printing them all out.
Tools:
PaperSource Gravel Postcards (bought at the store. I can't seem to find them on the website)
GIMP
Fun fonts (I used MammaGamma and Freebooter Script from DaFont.
Ink Jet printer (I have my trusty HP PSC 1210v all in one printer that my roommates and I bought freshmen year of college. It's still chugging along 5 years later!)
Billy's and my philosophy for our wedding is that we want it to be elegant and beautiful but fun, so my first priority in designing the save the date cards was to embody that philosophy somehow, as well as introduce our movie theme in a classy but fun way.
So eventually I decided on filling the front of the card with famous movie couples.
The first test I saved. Here I was playing with using the full names of the characters, which got a little complicated as some characters either didn't have last names (Riff Raff & Magenta) or weren't really known by their full names (Hoban Washburn? Please, he's Wash!)
I drop the last name idea and add Billy and myself to the front of the card. It still looks weird though, with "Will" trailing onto the last line)
And finally, I sat down and really focused on spacing everything evenly and formatting everything perfectly so that Billy and I got a line all to ourselves. I also added the border (found on Google image search...sorry I didn't save the original source!) to give it a "finished" look.
Now for something that's 98% text, why did I choose to use an image editor rather than typing it up in Word? Simply, using GIMP gave me much more control over placement of the words. The script font is relatively huge, and with the ampersands Word wanted to leave huge gaps between the ampersand and the next word. It looked ugly. GIMP let me make the ampersands a different layer than the names so I could arrange everything in a way that looked natural. It also let me decide how much space should be between the lines and rearrange everything fairly easily to make sure I didn't have names layering on top of each other and obscuring things like the dot of an "i."
Of course, in order to have this flexibility, every. single. word was a different layer. That meant that when I wanted to move one thing, at least three other layers had to be moved with it. It was a tedious process, but I really think it was worth it.
Price breakdown:
2 packs of Paper Source postcards: Approximately $6 for 100 cards total (I can't find my receipt :-( so I don't know the exact price, but I think this was about right), or approximately 17 cents per card.
90 post card stamps at 27 cents each (10 cards were sacrificed to figuring out how to print these things, so I didn't need as many stamps as I had printed cards.
Total cost per save the date card: 44 cents
That's it. No ink costs because I didn't have to buy a new cartridge, obviously I didn't have to pay anyone to actually do the work. Just the paper and the postage.
This was definitely a huge money saver for us. Of course, we could have saved even MORE money by just forgoing the save the date cards entirely (they aren't exactly a wedding necessity!) but I had a few reasons for doing them, and sending them out 7 months before the wedding:
1)Most of our guests would, in fact, be traveling at least some distance in order to attend. This gives them a heads up before winter travel plans can be made that they have an invitation to come to Michigan during the winter and to take that into consideration.
2) Our wedding is the beginning of spring break for our friends who are still attending college. This tells them not to make plans for that first weekend unless they want me to hunt them down ;-)
3) (Discovered after the cards went out) It put us back in contact with some people we hadn't seen in awhile. For example, while I was in middle school and high school, I had two librarians who had an enormous impact on my life. However, as much as I had wanted to talk to them occasionally over the years, I had lost their e-mail addresses and it felt totally weird to call or write an old fashioned letter to these women for no reason other to chat. I mean, they were my teachers! But as I said, they were hugely influential in my life and I knew I wanted them to be invited to the wedding. By sending out the save the date card with our wedding website address (the website which has our e-mail addresses posted), both of my librarians have e-mailed me and we've had some casual e-mail conversations. It's fabulous!
4) It gave me something to do! This may have been the biggest reason. I was unemployed, and it's still a little too far out in the planning process to work on other major wedding projects. This let me do something productive and wedding related.
Are save the date cards for everybody? Nope. But while they are superfluous in the grand scheme of wedding planning, they sure were fun!
Are you doing save the date cards? Why? Have you had any unexpected surprises come from them?
Front
Back. Check out the hot smudging action!
Beautiful and fabulous, are they not? Best of all, they were 100% made by me, like all of our other paper products will be. Not necessarily because it's a money saver, but because a) I like a creative challenge and b) I am super possessive over stuff.
These took a couple of hours to make, from beginning the design process to printing them all out.
Tools:
PaperSource Gravel Postcards (bought at the store. I can't seem to find them on the website)
GIMP
Fun fonts (I used MammaGamma and Freebooter Script from DaFont.
Ink Jet printer (I have my trusty HP PSC 1210v all in one printer that my roommates and I bought freshmen year of college. It's still chugging along 5 years later!)
Billy's and my philosophy for our wedding is that we want it to be elegant and beautiful but fun, so my first priority in designing the save the date cards was to embody that philosophy somehow, as well as introduce our movie theme in a classy but fun way.
So eventually I decided on filling the front of the card with famous movie couples.
The first test I saved. Here I was playing with using the full names of the characters, which got a little complicated as some characters either didn't have last names (Riff Raff & Magenta) or weren't really known by their full names (Hoban Washburn? Please, he's Wash!)
I drop the last name idea and add Billy and myself to the front of the card. It still looks weird though, with "Will" trailing onto the last line)
And finally, I sat down and really focused on spacing everything evenly and formatting everything perfectly so that Billy and I got a line all to ourselves. I also added the border (found on Google image search...sorry I didn't save the original source!) to give it a "finished" look.
Now for something that's 98% text, why did I choose to use an image editor rather than typing it up in Word? Simply, using GIMP gave me much more control over placement of the words. The script font is relatively huge, and with the ampersands Word wanted to leave huge gaps between the ampersand and the next word. It looked ugly. GIMP let me make the ampersands a different layer than the names so I could arrange everything in a way that looked natural. It also let me decide how much space should be between the lines and rearrange everything fairly easily to make sure I didn't have names layering on top of each other and obscuring things like the dot of an "i."
Of course, in order to have this flexibility, every. single. word was a different layer. That meant that when I wanted to move one thing, at least three other layers had to be moved with it. It was a tedious process, but I really think it was worth it.
Price breakdown:
2 packs of Paper Source postcards: Approximately $6 for 100 cards total (I can't find my receipt :-( so I don't know the exact price, but I think this was about right), or approximately 17 cents per card.
90 post card stamps at 27 cents each (10 cards were sacrificed to figuring out how to print these things, so I didn't need as many stamps as I had printed cards.
Total cost per save the date card: 44 cents
That's it. No ink costs because I didn't have to buy a new cartridge, obviously I didn't have to pay anyone to actually do the work. Just the paper and the postage.
This was definitely a huge money saver for us. Of course, we could have saved even MORE money by just forgoing the save the date cards entirely (they aren't exactly a wedding necessity!) but I had a few reasons for doing them, and sending them out 7 months before the wedding:
1)Most of our guests would, in fact, be traveling at least some distance in order to attend. This gives them a heads up before winter travel plans can be made that they have an invitation to come to Michigan during the winter and to take that into consideration.
2) Our wedding is the beginning of spring break for our friends who are still attending college. This tells them not to make plans for that first weekend unless they want me to hunt them down ;-)
3) (Discovered after the cards went out) It put us back in contact with some people we hadn't seen in awhile. For example, while I was in middle school and high school, I had two librarians who had an enormous impact on my life. However, as much as I had wanted to talk to them occasionally over the years, I had lost their e-mail addresses and it felt totally weird to call or write an old fashioned letter to these women for no reason other to chat. I mean, they were my teachers! But as I said, they were hugely influential in my life and I knew I wanted them to be invited to the wedding. By sending out the save the date card with our wedding website address (the website which has our e-mail addresses posted), both of my librarians have e-mailed me and we've had some casual e-mail conversations. It's fabulous!
4) It gave me something to do! This may have been the biggest reason. I was unemployed, and it's still a little too far out in the planning process to work on other major wedding projects. This let me do something productive and wedding related.
Are save the date cards for everybody? Nope. But while they are superfluous in the grand scheme of wedding planning, they sure were fun!
Are you doing save the date cards? Why? Have you had any unexpected surprises come from them?
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The final location!
The last place Billy and I looked at was actually a last minute decision. I was tooling around on the 'net after looking at the other three contenders and miraculously found another place that could do ceremonies and receptions (allegedly): the Doubletree Hotel in Holland. So I called them up and, even though it was a little last-minute, they agreed to meet with us the next morning.
We met with Amanda, the event coordinator, and while she wasn't quite as exuberant as our guide through DeVos Place, she was certainly more of a salesperson than some of the other people we'd spoken with. She sat us down with a portfolio of previous weddings they had worked on (only receptions, it looked like), so we could see the different buffet spreads and decoration options. Then we went on a tour to get an idea of spaces. She was really excited when I told her that we were looking to do 100-120 guests; if we could keep our guest list closer to 100 it meant we could use her favorite ballroom space that's usually overlooked for weddings because everyone has huge guest lists.
First we checked out the smaller ballroom(s) that would be used for the actual ceremony. They were simple, meeting-room-esque. Nothing fancy about them, but I thought we could make it work.
Then we went to the ballroom. And here's where I was sold. The ballroom is a funky, asymmetrical space, with a nice little "stage" area where we'll set up the head table (I certainly don't have any stage fright issues, and neither does the rest of the bridal party). There's a decent sized dance floor in one corner, an adjacent room for setting up the buffet tables, and we get to maximize our use of the space because, unlike some of the other ballrooms, we won't have to use a portable bar. Why? Because upstairs from the ballroom is Coaster's Lounge
(Source)
Normally open to everyone at the hotel, it's going to be closed off for the wedding. Here's where everyone can get their drinks AND our smoking friends can go up there for a smoke and still be part of the party atmosphere since it's a balcony style set up where you can stand in the lounge and overlook the party below.
Billy and I left feeling pretty good about the Doubletree. Our ceremony and reception would be held about ten yards apart, which was just the traveling distance we were looking for (there's also an additional bar set up in between the two locations, which we're going to have use of as well so everyone can get their drink on as soon as the ceremony's done). We had a few reservations (chief among Billy's: the entire time we were there, Amanda directed 99% of the conversation at me, and never even asked Billy's name!) initially, but the price and accommodations seemed right, so we decided to stop our search and look into actually booking the hotel.
Oh, if it were only so simple!=
We met with Amanda, the event coordinator, and while she wasn't quite as exuberant as our guide through DeVos Place, she was certainly more of a salesperson than some of the other people we'd spoken with. She sat us down with a portfolio of previous weddings they had worked on (only receptions, it looked like), so we could see the different buffet spreads and decoration options. Then we went on a tour to get an idea of spaces. She was really excited when I told her that we were looking to do 100-120 guests; if we could keep our guest list closer to 100 it meant we could use her favorite ballroom space that's usually overlooked for weddings because everyone has huge guest lists.
First we checked out the smaller ballroom(s) that would be used for the actual ceremony. They were simple, meeting-room-esque. Nothing fancy about them, but I thought we could make it work.
Then we went to the ballroom. And here's where I was sold. The ballroom is a funky, asymmetrical space, with a nice little "stage" area where we'll set up the head table (I certainly don't have any stage fright issues, and neither does the rest of the bridal party). There's a decent sized dance floor in one corner, an adjacent room for setting up the buffet tables, and we get to maximize our use of the space because, unlike some of the other ballrooms, we won't have to use a portable bar. Why? Because upstairs from the ballroom is Coaster's Lounge
(Source)
Normally open to everyone at the hotel, it's going to be closed off for the wedding. Here's where everyone can get their drinks AND our smoking friends can go up there for a smoke and still be part of the party atmosphere since it's a balcony style set up where you can stand in the lounge and overlook the party below.
Billy and I left feeling pretty good about the Doubletree. Our ceremony and reception would be held about ten yards apart, which was just the traveling distance we were looking for (there's also an additional bar set up in between the two locations, which we're going to have use of as well so everyone can get their drink on as soon as the ceremony's done). We had a few reservations (chief among Billy's: the entire time we were there, Amanda directed 99% of the conversation at me, and never even asked Billy's name!) initially, but the price and accommodations seemed right, so we decided to stop our search and look into actually booking the hotel.
Oh, if it were only so simple!=
Location, Location, Location
So once we had finalized West Michigan as our location...that still left a lot of options. Did we want Holland, my home town? Grand Rapids, the nearest city? Somewhere in between?
Ultimately the decision came down to: where could we get married AND have the reception?
Turns out, not very many places.
See, West Michigan is Religious. With a capital R. There are 170 churches in Holland alone, and Grand Rapids is the home of the Christian Reformed Church AND we kicked off the WWJD? bracelet trend.
So West Michigan likes its churches. A lot. So much so that it seems there isn't much demand for getting married outside of a church. Unless you're getting married at the beach, or at an outdoor gazebo. Two options that are soooooooooo not happening in February.
So in January, Billy and I treked across the state to spend a couple of days looking at a handful of locations that could, theoretically, handle hosting both parts of our ceremony.
Why did we look in January? Because my mom had convinced me that if someone was originally planning on getting married on Valentine's day and their preferred location was booked, they might consider moving the wedding back a weekend.
I was not going to let that happen to me! So I scoured, absolutely scoured every possible website I could find that even referenced doing indoor wedding ceremonies in West Michigan. We found...4. I believe. Again, I hadn't been planning on blogging every tiny detail of my wedding-planning-life at that point (I had only an inkling of how obsessed I was going to become!) so I didn't keep copious notes or take any pictures. Here are the places I remember looking at and rejecting:
Celebration Cinema: the Wave Room: Billy and I looooooooooooooove movies. Some people think going out to the movies is kind of a lame date: sure, you're sitting next to your sweetie for two hours, but you're just sitting there, staring at a screen in the dark. There's no interaction for that two hours.
Maybe we're un-romantic, but that's just fine with us. Billy and I are passionate about movies. He wants to write and/or direct for film (or TV. Or theatre. He's really not picky at this point) and I absolutely love studying film. So I had begun kicking around the idea of having a movie theme for the wedding (this was before I knew how popular it was as a theme. As someone who's usually totally non-traditional, I'm kind of kicking myself for this choice now. But it fits us so well I don't know what else I could possibly do!) and what better way to pull that in than by actually getting married at the movies!
Now, the website only mentions having space for wedding receptions, but some website or other that I checked out listed them as available for ceremonies as well, and when I called to make the appointment, the woman I spoke to assured me they had done ceremonies in the past and could definitely accommodate us.
When we pulled up to the theater, Billy wasn't so sure he was going to like it. Actually, he was pretty convinced as we walked in that he was going to hate it.
There's no private entrance (that we saw) for the Wave Room. There's no denying it: you're entering the main lobby of a big, modern cinemaplex. But really, I didn't see anything wrong with that. It was fun! It was us!
I really liked the Wave Room itself. It was really big with an entire wall of windows to catch any sort of sunlight we could get in February (or pretty pretty snowfall! That's what I'm hoping for: just enough to make it pretty, not a blizzard). Lots of space for a dance floor, and really cool food options (STATIONS! I hadn't heard of them before in my wedding research, but it sounded SO COOL!).
And then I asked where we would actually be getting married. I did not like the answer.
We could either have everyone sitting at their banquet tables as we got married (yuck) or have the room set up with a traditional style aisle and all of the chairs set out theatre style...and then banish all of our guests from the room for two hours while they re-set everything for the reception. What would our guests do during that time? "They could go see a movie!" (Yeah, because there are usually so many stellar films in February) "Or they could go eat. There's lots of restaurants here by the theater!"
Wait, seriously? You want me to drop thousands of dollars to feed 100+ people, and then encourage them to go get dinner on their own dime elsewhere?!
It didn't take long to cross the movie theater off of our list.
Crossroads Banquet and Conference Center: This is the place I wanted to cross off of our list as soon as we drove up. There are no pictures of the exterior anywhere to be found for good reason: it's a cinder block box. Maybe in the summer it was wonderful, lush grounds, but in January, it was a big gray box in the middle of a bunch of trampled down dirt.
So not appealing.
But inside it's pretty fantastic. They did a great sell for us. They had two distinct ballrooms for doing the ceremony in one place and then the reception in the other.It was really bright and cheerful inside (the sky in the lobby was painted with clouds!) and the bathrooms were fantabulous. A silly detail, I know, but it's something I noticed. They were also willing to cut us some deals because they were still a pretty new place and wanted to build up a customer base.
Oh, and they're affiliated with a Holiday Inn Express right next door that has a waterpark. Admission is included with your hotel room. That's pretty sweet.
The downsides: Aside from the outside appearance? Well, the dance floor was really small. I forget the exact dimensions but I'm pretty sure I blurted out "That's it?" when I saw the tiny slab of parquet off in one corner. If you don't plan on dancing at your wedding, this place would be fabulous, but we're big on dancing, so we knew this place probably wasn't for us. Plus it was a little bit in the middle of nowhere. Fairly close to the airport for our guests who would be flying in, but that's about the only thing it seemed close to. I'm not the biggest expert on Grand Rapids, so for all I know there were a million attractions right over the next hill, but as we were driving out to it I kept feeling like I must have missed it because there was just nothing out there.
DeVos Place: When I first told my mom that we were thinking about getting married over in her neck of the woods, the first place she looked up was The Amway Grand, which is the luxury hotel over in Grand Rapids.
Which is definitely reflected in the price.
So I was hesitant to check out DeVos Place, which is the convention center connected to the Grand. But I was very surprised to see that the place was downright cheap in comparison, and probably wouldn't have cost us much more overall than the place we ended up with.
The event coordinator at DeVos was wonderful, she gave us a full tour of all of our options, changing course as we explained more and more about what we were thinking, telling her what we did or didn't like about the rooms she was showing us. A great salesperson (I feel absolutely terrible for forgetting her name! But this was also almost 8 months ago, so I really shouldn't feel too bad), with a really creative mind. Her brain was constantly clicking along, proposing creative ideas for how we could pull off the ceremony and reception in a limited amount of space. They actually have experience doing receptions and ceremonies, something the other sites we'd visited had lacked. Crossroads had the space, but being so new they didn't really have the experience.
Ultimately, the only real reason we opted to go with some place else was a boat show was already booked for our desired date. They were wide open the next weekend, and if we really, really wanted to we could have figured out a way to make the 21st work...but it just wasn't meant to be.
If you're getting married in the Grand Rapids area, I would highly recommend checking out DeVos place for a very modern ceremony and/or reception.
Next post: Where did we end up going?
Ultimately the decision came down to: where could we get married AND have the reception?
Turns out, not very many places.
See, West Michigan is Religious. With a capital R. There are 170 churches in Holland alone, and Grand Rapids is the home of the Christian Reformed Church AND we kicked off the WWJD? bracelet trend.
So West Michigan likes its churches. A lot. So much so that it seems there isn't much demand for getting married outside of a church. Unless you're getting married at the beach, or at an outdoor gazebo. Two options that are soooooooooo not happening in February.
So in January, Billy and I treked across the state to spend a couple of days looking at a handful of locations that could, theoretically, handle hosting both parts of our ceremony.
Why did we look in January? Because my mom had convinced me that if someone was originally planning on getting married on Valentine's day and their preferred location was booked, they might consider moving the wedding back a weekend.
I was not going to let that happen to me! So I scoured, absolutely scoured every possible website I could find that even referenced doing indoor wedding ceremonies in West Michigan. We found...4. I believe. Again, I hadn't been planning on blogging every tiny detail of my wedding-planning-life at that point (I had only an inkling of how obsessed I was going to become!) so I didn't keep copious notes or take any pictures. Here are the places I remember looking at and rejecting:
Celebration Cinema: the Wave Room: Billy and I looooooooooooooove movies. Some people think going out to the movies is kind of a lame date: sure, you're sitting next to your sweetie for two hours, but you're just sitting there, staring at a screen in the dark. There's no interaction for that two hours.
Maybe we're un-romantic, but that's just fine with us. Billy and I are passionate about movies. He wants to write and/or direct for film (or TV. Or theatre. He's really not picky at this point) and I absolutely love studying film. So I had begun kicking around the idea of having a movie theme for the wedding (this was before I knew how popular it was as a theme. As someone who's usually totally non-traditional, I'm kind of kicking myself for this choice now. But it fits us so well I don't know what else I could possibly do!) and what better way to pull that in than by actually getting married at the movies!
Now, the website only mentions having space for wedding receptions, but some website or other that I checked out listed them as available for ceremonies as well, and when I called to make the appointment, the woman I spoke to assured me they had done ceremonies in the past and could definitely accommodate us.
When we pulled up to the theater, Billy wasn't so sure he was going to like it. Actually, he was pretty convinced as we walked in that he was going to hate it.
There's no private entrance (that we saw) for the Wave Room. There's no denying it: you're entering the main lobby of a big, modern cinemaplex. But really, I didn't see anything wrong with that. It was fun! It was us!
I really liked the Wave Room itself. It was really big with an entire wall of windows to catch any sort of sunlight we could get in February (or pretty pretty snowfall! That's what I'm hoping for: just enough to make it pretty, not a blizzard). Lots of space for a dance floor, and really cool food options (STATIONS! I hadn't heard of them before in my wedding research, but it sounded SO COOL!).
And then I asked where we would actually be getting married. I did not like the answer.
We could either have everyone sitting at their banquet tables as we got married (yuck) or have the room set up with a traditional style aisle and all of the chairs set out theatre style...and then banish all of our guests from the room for two hours while they re-set everything for the reception. What would our guests do during that time? "They could go see a movie!" (Yeah, because there are usually so many stellar films in February) "Or they could go eat. There's lots of restaurants here by the theater!"
Wait, seriously? You want me to drop thousands of dollars to feed 100+ people, and then encourage them to go get dinner on their own dime elsewhere?!
It didn't take long to cross the movie theater off of our list.
Crossroads Banquet and Conference Center: This is the place I wanted to cross off of our list as soon as we drove up. There are no pictures of the exterior anywhere to be found for good reason: it's a cinder block box. Maybe in the summer it was wonderful, lush grounds, but in January, it was a big gray box in the middle of a bunch of trampled down dirt.
So not appealing.
But inside it's pretty fantastic. They did a great sell for us. They had two distinct ballrooms for doing the ceremony in one place and then the reception in the other.It was really bright and cheerful inside (the sky in the lobby was painted with clouds!) and the bathrooms were fantabulous. A silly detail, I know, but it's something I noticed. They were also willing to cut us some deals because they were still a pretty new place and wanted to build up a customer base.
Oh, and they're affiliated with a Holiday Inn Express right next door that has a waterpark. Admission is included with your hotel room. That's pretty sweet.
The downsides: Aside from the outside appearance? Well, the dance floor was really small. I forget the exact dimensions but I'm pretty sure I blurted out "That's it?" when I saw the tiny slab of parquet off in one corner. If you don't plan on dancing at your wedding, this place would be fabulous, but we're big on dancing, so we knew this place probably wasn't for us. Plus it was a little bit in the middle of nowhere. Fairly close to the airport for our guests who would be flying in, but that's about the only thing it seemed close to. I'm not the biggest expert on Grand Rapids, so for all I know there were a million attractions right over the next hill, but as we were driving out to it I kept feeling like I must have missed it because there was just nothing out there.
DeVos Place: When I first told my mom that we were thinking about getting married over in her neck of the woods, the first place she looked up was The Amway Grand, which is the luxury hotel over in Grand Rapids.
Which is definitely reflected in the price.
So I was hesitant to check out DeVos Place, which is the convention center connected to the Grand. But I was very surprised to see that the place was downright cheap in comparison, and probably wouldn't have cost us much more overall than the place we ended up with.
The event coordinator at DeVos was wonderful, she gave us a full tour of all of our options, changing course as we explained more and more about what we were thinking, telling her what we did or didn't like about the rooms she was showing us. A great salesperson (I feel absolutely terrible for forgetting her name! But this was also almost 8 months ago, so I really shouldn't feel too bad), with a really creative mind. Her brain was constantly clicking along, proposing creative ideas for how we could pull off the ceremony and reception in a limited amount of space. They actually have experience doing receptions and ceremonies, something the other sites we'd visited had lacked. Crossroads had the space, but being so new they didn't really have the experience.
Ultimately, the only real reason we opted to go with some place else was a boat show was already booked for our desired date. They were wide open the next weekend, and if we really, really wanted to we could have figured out a way to make the 21st work...but it just wasn't meant to be.
If you're getting married in the Grand Rapids area, I would highly recommend checking out DeVos place for a very modern ceremony and/or reception.
Next post: Where did we end up going?
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