Happy news: Yesterday marked FOUR MONTHS until the wedding!
Unhappy news: We still don't have our tuxedos picked out. Um...oops?
Since I had today off from work, Billy and I decided this would be a good day to go pick out tuxedos. We were planning on going with Men's Warehouse tuxedo rental because they have outlets in or near where all of our groomsmen live. Everyone could pick up their own tux on their own schedule and not have to worry about driving a billion miles.
But first we had to decide what they'd be wearing. And what Billy would be wearing. So we went to the local Men's Warehouse and...they don't have any tuxedos to try on? We were hoping to compare the cut-away tails and the full-dress tails for Billy to see which actually looked good, and then at least be able to see the other options for the guys in person.
They don't do that. Apparently, none of the stores do that.
Was I the only one un-aware of this policy? Does it seem weird to anyone else? Maybe because I'm a weird-sized woman who HAS to try on every last piece of clothing (even when it's tailor-made) and get a lot of it altered I'm not comfortable with picking out something sight un-seen.
Are there any other national tux-rental chains? I'm about ready to get desperate here!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
3 Down, 47 to go!
Just in case you haven't heard, Connecticut Supreme Court rules same-sex marriage is legal.
As part of your celebrating, why not donate to the No on 8 campaign, to help ensure that marriage equality continues in California.
As part of your celebrating, why not donate to the No on 8 campaign, to help ensure that marriage equality continues in California.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Hitting a wall
I've been excited all week to get started on making my pocketfold invitations.
Today we woke up bright and early to head out to Michael's to buy the paper I needed. I figured I needed 30 sheets of artists paper.
They had 1 in the color I needed. 1 measly sheet.
No big problem, right? Just go find a sales associate and ask if they have more in the back/can order some from another store from me. Something that I know is within a store's ability to do thanks to having a mother who works for the company.
So after wandering around for awhile, I finally find someone to talk to. Wow, was she ever snotty. They can either order the paper for me as a special order, which would take 6-8 weeks to arrive. Or they can call the other stores for me and send me off to those places to pick up the paper.
Um, no. I can't go galavanting around New York looking for paper. I specifically chose this particular store because it's the most accessible via public transportation.
Even Billy, who's usually really laid back about poor service, told me as we left "Wow, she was mean."
So now we're back home and I feel like alternately banging my head against a wall and curling up in a ball and crying, even though this isn't a big thing at all. I still have plenty of time to find an online source of paper.
I just really wanted to work this week. As in I was hoping I'd be happily chopping up paper by now, not writing a whiny blog post.
Any words of encouragement?
Today we woke up bright and early to head out to Michael's to buy the paper I needed. I figured I needed 30 sheets of artists paper.
They had 1 in the color I needed. 1 measly sheet.
No big problem, right? Just go find a sales associate and ask if they have more in the back/can order some from another store from me. Something that I know is within a store's ability to do thanks to having a mother who works for the company.
So after wandering around for awhile, I finally find someone to talk to. Wow, was she ever snotty. They can either order the paper for me as a special order, which would take 6-8 weeks to arrive. Or they can call the other stores for me and send me off to those places to pick up the paper.
Um, no. I can't go galavanting around New York looking for paper. I specifically chose this particular store because it's the most accessible via public transportation.
Even Billy, who's usually really laid back about poor service, told me as we left "Wow, she was mean."
So now we're back home and I feel like alternately banging my head against a wall and curling up in a ball and crying, even though this isn't a big thing at all. I still have plenty of time to find an online source of paper.
I just really wanted to work this week. As in I was hoping I'd be happily chopping up paper by now, not writing a whiny blog post.
Any words of encouragement?
Friday, October 3, 2008
What I've been up to
And now for something completely different from the last super-serious post!
It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted and there's two reasons for that 1) nothing major regarding the wedding has happened 2) I'm lazy.
Nothing major has been happening because I've been ridiculously unemployed all summer, which meant that money that I had been saving for wedding expenses had to instead be put toward living expenses like food, gas and metro passes (now that I'm in New York!). However, this week I got a job, so I can start spending money again! It's not a fabulous job, it doesn't use my degree at all, it's part time retail work, something I once vowed I would never get into again. But circumstances change, and I'm not too proud to admit when I need to do something, anything, in order to make money.
So the only wedding planning things I've done have been things that don't require any money. Like doing a first draft of part of our invitations! They're going out in about a month and a half, so I really have to get on the ball with these.
Here's the first one I've made. Any thoughts?
Like our whole wedding, I'm trying to create a blend of classic, traditional wedding elements and our own unique quirkiness. So I've attempted to blend a very traditional, formal wedding aesthetic with a different color choice (and non-barf-worthy language. The language etiquette around weddings is one of the most aggravating areas for a progressive bride to navigate, in my opinion), and then add an extra dash of quirkiness with the paraphrased movie quote at the top. The current plan is to have a movie quote associated with each of our inserts. Here's what we've thought of so far:
Directions card: Where we're going, we don't need roads (Back to the Future, one of Billy's favorite movies)
RSVP and/or rehearsal dinner/party card: Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho! (Pirates of the Caribbean, as if an explanation is needed!)
Other RSVP option: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too! (The Wizard of Oz)
Billy also suggested making our RSVP options movie quotations, but we've only come up with a quotation for those declining the invitation: "I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. It means 'no'" (Also from Pirates, and we're debating whether we should keep the somewhat-snarky sounding "It means 'no'"). Anyone know of a good movie quotation that means "yes"?
I think this weekend is going to be dedicated to working on invitations, whether that's more design work on the invitations themselves, or finally getting myself out to Michael's to buy the card stock so I can start making pocketfolds!
It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted and there's two reasons for that 1) nothing major regarding the wedding has happened 2) I'm lazy.
Nothing major has been happening because I've been ridiculously unemployed all summer, which meant that money that I had been saving for wedding expenses had to instead be put toward living expenses like food, gas and metro passes (now that I'm in New York!). However, this week I got a job, so I can start spending money again! It's not a fabulous job, it doesn't use my degree at all, it's part time retail work, something I once vowed I would never get into again. But circumstances change, and I'm not too proud to admit when I need to do something, anything, in order to make money.
So the only wedding planning things I've done have been things that don't require any money. Like doing a first draft of part of our invitations! They're going out in about a month and a half, so I really have to get on the ball with these.
Here's the first one I've made. Any thoughts?
Like our whole wedding, I'm trying to create a blend of classic, traditional wedding elements and our own unique quirkiness. So I've attempted to blend a very traditional, formal wedding aesthetic with a different color choice (and non-barf-worthy language. The language etiquette around weddings is one of the most aggravating areas for a progressive bride to navigate, in my opinion), and then add an extra dash of quirkiness with the paraphrased movie quote at the top. The current plan is to have a movie quote associated with each of our inserts. Here's what we've thought of so far:
Directions card: Where we're going, we don't need roads (Back to the Future, one of Billy's favorite movies)
RSVP and/or rehearsal dinner/party card: Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho! (Pirates of the Caribbean, as if an explanation is needed!)
Other RSVP option: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too! (The Wizard of Oz)
Billy also suggested making our RSVP options movie quotations, but we've only come up with a quotation for those declining the invitation: "I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. It means 'no'" (Also from Pirates, and we're debating whether we should keep the somewhat-snarky sounding "It means 'no'"). Anyone know of a good movie quotation that means "yes"?
I think this weekend is going to be dedicated to working on invitations, whether that's more design work on the invitations themselves, or finally getting myself out to Michael's to buy the card stock so I can start making pocketfolds!
The Personal is Political
So as many in the wedding blog community (and beyond!) have heard, popular wedding blog Weddingbee has been sold to eHarmony. And now there's a lot of arguing going on about whether this was a good decision, and what this means for the website and its community.
I posted my two cents on Weddingbee when I first saw the news (for me, it was a no brainer that I wouldn't continue to read a site supported by eHarmony), and wanted to leave it at that, at least over there. I've kept the page open in a tab, however, so I can follow along with the debate and so I can find the blogs of anyone else who's leaving.
But it's getting pretty ugly over there. I posted on Feministing (the above link) when they mentioned the Weddingbee sale that I was happy the level of discourse was being kept at a mature level. People were being passionate about their beliefs, but when you're discussing deeply held moral convictions, you should be passionate. Now, however, it's devolving into a disgusting display of some of the worst behaviors possible in humanity. No, I'm being serious: using religion to preach hate is one of the most morally repugnant things a person can do.
But that's not why I wanted to make this post. I wanted to make this post to explain why the sale of a wedding community to a non-LGBTQ friendly company matters to me in the slightest.
As a life long feminist, I've long been familiar with the phrase "the personal is political," popularized by second wave (60s-70s) feminists. What it means is that what affects our personal lives is part of the political sphere as well. At the time this was often used to try to garner legal support for women's reproductive health rights, or the right for women to retain their own individual identity even after getting married. And while some of the fights of our mothers' generation have been won, there are still a lot of battlefronts that remain. Including the rights of LGBTQ-identifying people.
I think I've mentioned this before, but in case I haven't: I'm bisexual. Yes, I'm marrying a man, but to me that's just a quirk of genetics. I fell in love with Billy because of who he is as a person, not as a male. I am acutely aware that if I had fallen in love with a woman I wouldn't be planning a wedding like mine right now.
We currently live in a country that is governed more by hate and fear than reason and compassion. A country where our government seems to believe that just because some interpretations of some religions refuse to acknowledge the love between people of the same sex, that is reason enough to bar a supposedly-secular government from also recognizing these unions. At a governmental level, there isn't much I can do about that right now. I diligently vote for the person that I believe will do the least amount of harm (because there is no current candidate who is as radical as I am about social justice issues), and vote down hateful proposals, but while these are some of the most public actions, in some ways they are the least powerful. Government is a huge machine, and as such it takes a long time for huge changes to be made.
So I focus a lot of my political activism on a personal level. I blog in my personal blog about political issues to raise awareness among my readers. I support companies that have progressive policies, and refuse to support companies that don't. In planning my wedding, I am doing a lot of it myself so I don't contribute financially to the wedding industrial complex that encourages women to hate their bodies, continue misogynist traditions, and go into debt, all in search for a "perfect day." Billy and I are also acknowledging our passion for marriage equality by opening our ceremony with a reading from the Massachusetts's historic supreme court decision legalizing gay marriage, read by a former professor, mentor and friend of ours who happens to be a gay man.
If anyone tries to say that weddings are not political acts, they are kidding themselves, because getting married is one of the most personal decisions a couple can make, and the personal is political.
To sign off, here's the reading from the Massachusetts's supreme court ruling we're using. It perfectly sums up our feelings on marriage, and seems very appropriate today:
Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other ... brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their [family], marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return, it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations....Without question, civil marriage enhances the "welfare of the community" and is a "social institution of the highest importance." ... Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and [a] connection [to] our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition
I posted my two cents on Weddingbee when I first saw the news (for me, it was a no brainer that I wouldn't continue to read a site supported by eHarmony), and wanted to leave it at that, at least over there. I've kept the page open in a tab, however, so I can follow along with the debate and so I can find the blogs of anyone else who's leaving.
But it's getting pretty ugly over there. I posted on Feministing (the above link) when they mentioned the Weddingbee sale that I was happy the level of discourse was being kept at a mature level. People were being passionate about their beliefs, but when you're discussing deeply held moral convictions, you should be passionate. Now, however, it's devolving into a disgusting display of some of the worst behaviors possible in humanity. No, I'm being serious: using religion to preach hate is one of the most morally repugnant things a person can do.
But that's not why I wanted to make this post. I wanted to make this post to explain why the sale of a wedding community to a non-LGBTQ friendly company matters to me in the slightest.
As a life long feminist, I've long been familiar with the phrase "the personal is political," popularized by second wave (60s-70s) feminists. What it means is that what affects our personal lives is part of the political sphere as well. At the time this was often used to try to garner legal support for women's reproductive health rights, or the right for women to retain their own individual identity even after getting married. And while some of the fights of our mothers' generation have been won, there are still a lot of battlefronts that remain. Including the rights of LGBTQ-identifying people.
I think I've mentioned this before, but in case I haven't: I'm bisexual. Yes, I'm marrying a man, but to me that's just a quirk of genetics. I fell in love with Billy because of who he is as a person, not as a male. I am acutely aware that if I had fallen in love with a woman I wouldn't be planning a wedding like mine right now.
We currently live in a country that is governed more by hate and fear than reason and compassion. A country where our government seems to believe that just because some interpretations of some religions refuse to acknowledge the love between people of the same sex, that is reason enough to bar a supposedly-secular government from also recognizing these unions. At a governmental level, there isn't much I can do about that right now. I diligently vote for the person that I believe will do the least amount of harm (because there is no current candidate who is as radical as I am about social justice issues), and vote down hateful proposals, but while these are some of the most public actions, in some ways they are the least powerful. Government is a huge machine, and as such it takes a long time for huge changes to be made.
So I focus a lot of my political activism on a personal level. I blog in my personal blog about political issues to raise awareness among my readers. I support companies that have progressive policies, and refuse to support companies that don't. In planning my wedding, I am doing a lot of it myself so I don't contribute financially to the wedding industrial complex that encourages women to hate their bodies, continue misogynist traditions, and go into debt, all in search for a "perfect day." Billy and I are also acknowledging our passion for marriage equality by opening our ceremony with a reading from the Massachusetts's historic supreme court decision legalizing gay marriage, read by a former professor, mentor and friend of ours who happens to be a gay man.
If anyone tries to say that weddings are not political acts, they are kidding themselves, because getting married is one of the most personal decisions a couple can make, and the personal is political.
To sign off, here's the reading from the Massachusetts's supreme court ruling we're using. It perfectly sums up our feelings on marriage, and seems very appropriate today:
Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other ... brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their [family], marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return, it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations....Without question, civil marriage enhances the "welfare of the community" and is a "social institution of the highest importance." ... Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and [a] connection [to] our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition
Hi Weddingbee Readers!
There's probably been a new surge of readers today as people are still reeling from the shock of Weddingbee being sold to eHarmony. I had a late night up with the debate last night so I'm still catching up on my morning blogroll, but I promise there will be a post or two later today explaining why there hasn't been a post on here for almost a month, my thoughts on the Weddingbee sale, and where I'm at in wedding planning (spoiler alert: not much farther than I was on September 12...having no money kind of puts a damper on things!)
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